Kyle Johnson
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GM Orders Dealers to Stop Selling 2013-2014 Chevrolet Cruze Models

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GM's terrible March just keeps getting worse. Is this latest move related to yet another safety-related issue?

2013-2014 Chevrolet Cruze

No, GM, suddenly warning dealers to stop selling 2013-2014 Chevrolet Cruze vehicles is in no way nefarious-sounding given your otherwise pristine record of transparity.

Boy, just when you start thinking GM couldn’t possibly have a worse March, there’s today’s news that General Motors has ordered dealerships to stop delivering 2013-2014 Chevrolet Cruze models equipped with 1.4-liter engines. That accounts for about 60 percent of all Cruzes on the market by the way. So what is the cause for this latest move? Is it safety related? Is yet another recall getting ready to go down? Has the 1.4-liter engine found in 2013-2014 Chevrolet Cruze models gained an appetite for human flesh?

GM won’t say why, according to USA Today.

“I have no details,” GM spokesman Alan Adler told USA Today. “I’m sure somebody knows.”

General Motors: a beacon of light shining on a high hill, a paragon of transparency, not at all comparable to a seedy black market operation that does business in an abandoned meat packing plant on the bad side of town.

Last August, GM recalled 292,879 2011-2012 Cruzes with—surprise—the very same 1.4-liter turbo engines because of the propensity for the power assist for the brakes to fail suddenly due to a faulty switch. Hmm…it’s almost like the order to stop selling 2013-2014 Chevrolet Cruze models might have something to do with another safety problem.

Dealerships speaking to USA Today say that stop-sale orders are almost always related to safety problems. So methinks that we could be seeing another recall by the time Mary Barra takes the stand to testify before Congress.

Don’t be surprised if on April 1, you are reading about a recall being issued for Chevrolet Camaros that have been found to have miniature black holes in the boot, which could lead to a rip in time space, the loss of personal property, and an increased risk of intergalactic invasion from Elder Gods.  And don’t be terribly surprised if nothing about that is an April Fools’ Day joke, either. At this point, who the hell knows what to expect from GM.

  • Kyle JohnsonEditor

    Kyle S. Johnson lives in Cincinnati, a city known by many as "the Cincinnati of Southwest Ohio." He enjoys professional wrestling, Halloween, and also other things. He has been writing for a while, and he plans to continue to write well into the future. See more articles by Kyle.

  • EDWARD SIEGEL

    G.M.’S/DELCO’S (& FORD’S & CHRYSLER’S & TOYOTAS &…
    THE WHOLE AUTO INDUSTRY’S!!!
    [& AEROSPACE-INDUSTRY’S:
    B O E I N G:
    COMMERCIAL: 787-“DREAM”/NIGHTMARE(!!!)LINER(OF Li-ION BATTERY IN-FAMY!!!, MALAYSIA-AIR 767(NOW “666”!!!] IN-FAMY!!!; …; AIRBUS: …;
    & MILITARY:
    BOEING, LOCKHEED-MARTIN, NORTHRUP-GRUMMAN,…)
    T H E V E R Y – L O N G – T E R M R E C A L L PROBLEMS ROOT-CAUSE ULTIMATE-ORIGIN WAS TOO-OFTEN
    THEN(1960s-1980s-1990s) AND IS STILL NOW ONGOING(2000s):
    NOT JUST “SWITCHES”,
    BUT THEIR/SWITCHES’ INITIATORS,
    aka (PRESSURE) S E N S O R S, THAT CAN/DO/MUST
    TRIGGER/ACTIVATE/INITIATE ANY/ALL SWITCHES,
    MOST ESPECIALLY
    FRED KAVLI’S(RIP)
    K A V L I C O’S!!! (MOORPARK, CA.),
    [NOW OWNED BY FRANCE’S SCHNEIDER-ELECTRIC]:
    PRESSURE-SENSORSACCELEROMETERS (FAR INFERIOR TO ENDEVCO’S!!!),
    THERMAL/
    I.R.,
    OPTICAL,
    MAGNETIC,
    RADIATION,
    …!!!
    KAVLI WENT ON TO BECOME A BILLIONAIRE AND FOUNDED THE KAVLI FOUNDATION(PRESIDENT: PROFESSOR/DR/ NUCLEAR-ENGINEER/”PHYSICIST”) ROBERT CONN(AKA “CONJOB”), OXNARD, CA.) WHICH HAS AWARDED MILLIONS TO MANY UNIVERSITIES (EXAMPLE: UC SANTA BARBARA’S KAVLI INSTITUTE FOR THEORETICAL PHYSICS (KITP.ORG) AMONG LITERALLY DOZENS AND DOZENS AT:
    UCSD, UCI, UCR, MIT, HARVARD ETC. ETC,. ETC. …) BUT LITERALLY “BLOOD MONEY”, NO DOUBT FOUNDED AND FUNDED UPON THE INJURIES/GRAVES OF THE INJURED/DECEASED IN NEEDLESS AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS DUE TO MANY MANY GYPES IN MANY MANY APPLICATIONS KAVLI KAVLICO SENSORS’
    GENERIC ENDEMIC EXTANT MALFUNCTIONING
    FOR SOME AT LEAST FOUR DECADES NOW!!!
    HOW DID KAVLI GET HIS MANY VARIOUS KAVLICO SENSORS TYPES SO WIDELY ACCEPTED???:
    EL CHEAPO MASS PRODUCTION
    LED TO
    EL CHEAPO MASS MARKETING
    LED TO
    EL CHEAPO MASS SALES
    (AT REDUCED PRICES UNDERSELLING HIS ONCE MANY COMPETITORS)
    LED TO
    EL CHEAPO COMPLETE LACK OF
    QUALITY-CONTROL(QC)/ QUALITY-ASSURANCE(QA)

    [SOME POSSIBLY CORROBORATING NAMES(IF STILL ALIVE!!!???:
    G.M.: DR. HARMON NINE(FRASER, MI.), STEVEN BABCOCK(LAST SEEN AT ATOMICS INTERNATIONAL, L.A.AREA); WILLIAM ISBELL(LAST SEEN AT LLNL BUT RETIRED BACK TO SANTA BARBARA); ALLEN MACMILLAN(ROCHESTER, MI.); DOUGLAS CHRISTMAN(ROCHESTER, MI.), FREDERICK SCHIERLOH, PETER HOCHSTEIN(!!!), HERBERT SHIPMAN(LAST SEEN IN SALT LAKE CIT); CHARLES WHITCHURCH, DAVID ??? , DR./PROF. SIEGFRIED HECKER(LAST SEEN AS DIRECTOR OF LANL, THEN TO STANFORD UNIVERSITY), DONALD KOISTENEN, DR. BRIAN TAYLOR(BROWN UNIVERSITY ALUMNUS); DR. CHARLES BRUGGEMAN(UC-BERKELEY ALUMNUS); MICHAEL SHMENK(LAST SEEN MOVING OVER TO DAMLER-MERCEDES-BENZ IN GERMANY), ISIDORE HODES(CHIEF ENGINEER EMERITUS, G.M. MANUFACTURING STAFF), EDWARD COLE(G. M.PRESIDENT-EMERITUS), CHARLES VEST(MIT PRESIDENT-EMERITUS; CHAIRMAN-EMERITUS, NATIONAL ACADEMY OF ENGINEERING), COLIN MAIDEN, CHANCELLOR-EMERITUS, UNIVERSITY OF AUCKLAND(NEW ZEALAND), SIDNEY GREEN (FONDER/CHAIRMAN, TERRATEK, NOW SCHLUMBERGER/TERRATEK(SALT LAKE CITY)
    [& LAST BUT NOT HARDLY LEAST, FMR. ATTY. MICHAEL YOUNG ESQ., THEN PRESIDENT, UNIVERSITY OF UTAH,
    NOW PRESIDENT UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON,
    KNOWS A L O T ABOUT SUCH SENSOR PROBLEMS,
    MOST ESPECIALLY IN VIS A VIS JAPAN’S AUTOCOMPANIES VERSUS IN COMPETITORS U.S. AUTO COMPANIES!!!]

    BEFORE I JOINED THE NUCLEAR INDUSTRY
    (WESTINGHOUSE THEN PSEG THEN IAEA THEN ABB THEN ICTP=IAEA)
    I SPENT SEVERAL YEARS AT:
    MANUFACTURING-STAFF/G.M. TECH-CENTER, WARREN, MICHIGAN
    AND
    FORD MOTOR COMPANY SCIENTIFIC-LABORATORIES/SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH STAFF, DEARBORN, MICHIGAN,
    AND
    MY EX-WIFE AS AN ENGINEER AT CHRYSLER.

    EVEN THEN (1960s-1980s) SENSORS DUTY-CYCLES FATIGUE LIFE-CURTAILMENT WAS A MAJOR ISSUE
    [EXPERTS: PROF. ALAN WIDOM/PHYSICS/NORTHEASTERN UNIVERSITY; A UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA PROFESSOR LONG VERY TURKISH NAME WHO HAS PUBLISHED WHOLE ENCYCLOPEDIAS OF RELIBILITY THEORY AND EXPERIMENTS OF LITERALLY ANYTHING/EVERYTHING, MOST EPECIALLY SENSORS!!!]
    THAT BOTH FORD AND G.M. AND CHRYSLER SWEPT UNDER THE RUG ROUTINELY!!!

    [INTERESTINGLY ONE MAJOR PREPERTRATOR AT FORD WAS SENIOR ENGINEERING V.P. BALMER, THE FATHER OF UNTIL RECENTLY MICROSOFT CEO STEVE BALMER, HE WHO PERSONALLY BROUGHT YOU THE TWIN DELIGHTS OF: THE WINDOWS-EIGHT HORROR-SHOW AND THE WINDOWS-XP SUPPORT-CESSATION HORROR-SHOW IMMINENTLY TO-COME NEXT WEEK ON 4/7/14, A DISASTER FOR MANY BUSINESSES INCLUDING MOST ATMS!!!]