Kyle Johnson
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2014 Horse Overview

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2014 Horse Overview

What’s New for the 2014 Horse

The 2014 Horse remains largely unchanged from previous models.

2014 Horse Exterior

2014 Horse Overview

The 2014 Horse boasts a distinctive style that has made it one of the world’s most reliable forms of transportation for hundreds of years. All Horses boast a number of design features that have made them attractive alternatives to/accessories for carriages and buggies, including shoulders, crest, flank, hooves, and a tail. The 2014 Horse—available in more than 300 breeds—comes in a number of colors and with a variety of patterns, meaning that no two horses on the road will be entirely alike.

2014 Horse Performance

2014 Horse Overview

The 2014 Horse promises powerful performance with four diverse gait modes: Walk, Trot, Canter, and Gallop. In Walk Mode, the 2014 Horse averages 4.0 miles per hour (mph); in Trot, speed increases up to 12 miles per hour; in Canter, the Horse reaches up to 15 miles per hour; and in full gallop, the beast is unleashed for a top speed of up to 55 miles per hour. All horses generate up to 1 horsepower.

2014 Horse Efficiency

The 2014 Horse is EPA-estimated at 0 mpg city/0 mpg highway/0 mpg overall, largely because it is insanely inhumane to fill a horse with gasoline. However, independent studies suggest that the 2014 Horse boasts a combined average of 1 PPH (poops per hour), meaning that it is among the most eco-friendly modes of transportation on the market today (so long as you are courteous enough to stop and clean up after it).

2014 Horse Interior

2014 Horse Overview

Ick. No.

2014 Horse Safety

As long as it remains calm, the 2014 Horse is seen as largely safe, though it has not yet been tested by either the IIHS or NHTSA. While previous generations of Horse have shown the ability to slide under a truck, it is unknown whether the 2014 model retains this ability or not (though it is highly recommended that you do not attempt to discover this for yourself unless you are an actor in a terrible Bollywood film).

  • Kyle JohnsonEditor

    Kyle S. Johnson lives in Cincinnati, a city known by many as "the Cincinnati of Southwest Ohio." He enjoys professional wrestling, Halloween, and also other things. He has been writing for a while, and he plans to continue to write well into the future. See more articles by Kyle.