A Letter From The Staff: ‘The News Wheel’ is Moving to Canada
The headline says it all, and yes, it is true. The staff of The News Wheel has made the decision to move our offices from the state of Ohio to the island of Cape Breton in Nova Scotia, Canada. If you are a close friend or family member to one of our editors and you are just now learning of our upcoming departure, we apologize. There was a memo and everything sent out that gave a deadline of April first, but you know how busy we all get.
We won’t say that our move is purely motivated by the election of the United States’ current President, but we admit to being fans of clean air to breathe and good water to drink. With the big changes at the US Environmental Protection Agency that Daniel has been filling us in on, it’s clear that those things are no longer a priority of this country.
This decision was not made purely on a whim. We all decided at the end of last year that a move would be a great idea, and we laid a map out. Automatically we gravitated towards the countries that speak English. We said no to the United Kingdom because no one wanted to get involved with the Brexit mess, and Australia was vetoed by Rebecca because she was convinced everything on the continent wanted to kill her. It pretty much came down to Ireland and Canada, with our neighbor to the north winning by a slim margin. We did vote on the day that pictures of a young Justin Trudeau hit the internet, so that might have helped us decide.
For now we are moving to Cape Breton because it is actively looking for new immigrants and had a quite enticing advertising campaign during the election. We will be renting a big building to work and live in so that we can share costs and get our footing in a new country. Patrick has already called a top bunk, and we’re all preparing to share space with our youngest staff members (one of whom has just hit the “mine” phase, we’re so pumped).
Don’t worry, we’ll still share all the best car news the world has to offer, we might just be more biased towards stories about cute Prime Ministers than rancid orange Cheetos.
The Staff of The News Wheel
If you haven’t figured it out yet, this post is part of The News Wheel’s April Fools’ Day series about our “move” to Canada. We apologize to any Canadians who take offense. Americans can learn to take a joke.