Daniel Susco
No Comments

Arkansas Woman Displays Will of the Warrior

Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size Text Size Print This Page

Headbutts Deputy and Steals Police Car After Being Arrested

Some people just never seem to give up until they have conquered all that they see.

One such person is Jessica Sterling of Greenwood, Arkansas, who was captured on video by a police video camera attached to police officer Josh Fisher (we believe attached to his head, which made the whole thing have a disturbing similarity to a Call of Duty play-through). Please be advised that the will of the warrior leads Sterling to scream and yell a lot.

Before Fisher arrived on the scene, Sterling had already led police on a high-speed chase before she crashed into a fence. Fisher’s camera showed long furrows and the remains of a thoroughly conquered fence lying on the ground. Police had already captured the fleeing Sterling and had her in handcuffs.

More Crazy Car Crime: Man Insists Speeding Isn’t a Crime, Compares Police to Nazis

However, Sterling possessed the will of the warrior to conquer. After police put her in a cruiser, they began hearing loud banging noises—Sterling, hitting the window. Police opened the door.

That, apparently, was a mistake, as Sterling attempted to conquer the forehead of a deputy. She lunged out and head butted him.

Jessica Sterling forehead injury

We assume that the spot on her forehead isn’t just dirt

Police restrained her while she screamed for them to shoot her (since obviously, that was the only way to stop such indomitable will). They put leg irons on her and put her back in the cruiser. In an act of compassion, they left that car running with the air conditioning on so that she wouldn’t overheat while they searched her car.

This, apparently, was also a mistake, as the warrior in Sterling saw this as a weakness. While deputies were searching her car, one of them suddenly said, “Oh, my God, my car’s being stolen.”

That was because Sterling had managed to get her handcuffs in front of her, climbed through a small window to the front seat, and driven off with the cruiser.

Much Easier Arrests: Police Make Easiest Drug Arrest Ever

Unfortunately for her, the warrior is apparently a crappy driver, because she crashed the police cruiser, too, flipping it on its side. Then, as police tried to figure out how to get her out, she started trying to get the rifle that was in the cruiser, again screaming for police to shoot her.

Police, perhaps finally realizing the primal fury that they were up against, used a taser on Sterling before pulling her out through the smashed windshield. She now faces over a dozen charges.


We like to think she will demand a trial by combat
Photo:Søren Niedziella

  • Daniel SuscoEditor

    Daniel Susco is a native of the Dayton-Cincinnati area, and has written on a multitude of subjects. He can discuss Shakespeare, expound on Classical Mythology, and even make witty jokes about Pliny the Elder (More like “Pliny the Rounder,” right?). In his free time, Daniel enjoys reading, cooking, woodworking, and long walks on the beach (just kidding – sunburn is no joke). See more articles by Daniel.