will.i.am, Awful Musician, to Unveil Custom Lexus NX
Ugh. It’s 2014 and will.i.am is still relevant? People: can we just learn from our mistakes, admit to them, and move on already? Here’s how awful will.i.am is: try to Google him on Chrome. Spoilers: you’re not going to be taken to a search engine result. Instead, you’re going to be greeted by this:
Yeah, will.i.am bought the URL will.i.am. Therein, he talks all about his successful music career (in a hip-hop group that once made some legitimately good music before torching its goodwill down to cinders by adding Fergie and recording EDM-influenced drivel about lady lumps and iammabes and filling up your cup and saying mazel tov) and his acting talent (arguably the worst performer in the endlessly terrible X-Men Origins: Wolverine) without skimping the details about his turn as a fashion designer.
will.i.am, ladies and gentlemen.
He’s one of the worst, and now he’s about to ugly up the beautiful Lexus NX. At least when Kanye West does something stupid and awful, he’s got the fortitude to be up-front about it.
In two short days (yeah, we know you can’t wait), a will.i.am-designed Lexus NX will debut at Paris Fashion Week. You can then expect an ad for the NX that will no doubt continue the trend of oversaturating a weary world with more imagery of will.i.am’s stupid haircut and the aural pleasure of his pedestrian beats/rhymes.
Oh, but you don’t have to wait to see how terrible the ad is! Here’s a sneak preview in the form of a music video for the aforementioned pedestrian beats/rhymes, “Dreamin’ about the Future.”
What’s that you’re saying? Man, watching will.i.am stare at some indistinct point of the floor, do a godawful version of the robot, and belt out repetitive lyrics in auto tune really makes me want to go buy the NX!
Oh, wait. You’re saying everything about what you just saw, save for the few glimpses at the actual vehicle the music video intends to promote, was an awful waste of your time? Well, yeah, we suppose you’re right. We must have just misheard you.
“As a musician and an entrepreneur, I want my ideas and my presence to impact the world around me. The team at Lexus applied the same vision to the ad—showcasing how the NX impacts the design of the world around it,” said Mr. am, not sounding at all like a man who sustains himself entirely on bad ideas and pretentiousness.
Let’s not get it twisted here: the Lexus NX is a wonderful thing, and we’re really excited to see what Lexus’ first turbocharged model can do. That speaks nothing of the fact that Lexus’ foray into compact crossovers has all the potential to be a huge hit for the luxury automaker, particularly with the 300h hybrid option.
But hiring will.i.am as your pitch man and then allowing him to design a car after seeing the two monstrosities he’s already created (not posting them here because we have a moral obligation not to blind people) is a move so tone-deaf that it makes hiring Puff Daddy look like the stuff of genius.
Be sure to stop back by on Wednesday when will.i.am’s monstrosity is revealed so that we can all have a good laugh at it and then go back to appreciating Lexus for manufacturing great cars and not being affiliated with a played-out musician.