Kyle Johnson
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So It Shall Come to Pass: Cadillac ELR Recalled for Technical Glitch

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Yesterday, I suggested that the Cadillac ELR might be in need of a recall to fix the burn that Ford put on them with the "Upside" ad. Turns out, I wasn't all that far off.

It was only yesterday that I wrote the following line in my blog about Ford’s delicious send-up of Cadillac’s preposterously stupid “Poolside” commercial:

“We dare say that General Motors might need to issue yet another recall, this time for the Cadillac ELR, because that sumbitch just got BURNED!”

ELR recalled

Hate to say I told you so, but…

Well, I’m not going to say that I possess anything approaching clairvoyance. After all, it’s not like Cadillac ELR was actually recalled for getting wicked burned by the “Upside” C-Max Energi ad.

No, what got the Cadillac ELR recalled today was an electronic glitch and not a wicked burn. Close enough, I guess.

Oh, GM. Poor, poor, stupid GM. You’re like The Little Engine That Could, except, ya know, you’re partially responsible in the deaths of at least a dozen people, quite unlike The Little Engine That Could.

In addition to today’s news that GM has ordered dealerships to stop selling 2013-2014 Chevy Cruze models equipped with the same 1.4-liter turbo engine that was previously involved in yet another recall for 2011-2012 models, it has been announced that 656 Cadillac ELRs (basically, almost all of those that have sold) are being recalled for a calibration error.

According to Detroit News, electric stability control may not provide an alert for drivers if faults occur.

“The ESC malfunction indicator light will not illuminate as required by the federal safety standard, even though ESC functionality would be disabled or degraded,” GM said. “Failure to illuminate the ESC malfunction indicator light when an ESC fault condition is present could result in an increased risk of crashes and injuries.”

GM should probably just consider rebranding themselves at this point. Try this slogan on for size: General Motors: Could Result in an Increased Risk of Crashes and Injuries. Kind of has a certain ring to it, doesn’t it?

Ford "Upside" ad

As for all the recalls, that’s the upside of only giving half of a damn about the quality of your work. N’est-ce pas?

 

  • Kyle JohnsonEditor

    Kyle S. Johnson lives in Cincinnati, a city known by many as "the Cincinnati of Southwest Ohio." He enjoys professional wrestling, Halloween, and also other things. He has been writing for a while, and he plans to continue to write well into the future. See more articles by Kyle.

  • EDWARD SIEGEL

    BY/FROM FORMER “COBALT”(Ph.D.-THESIS/MSU/1970)-EXPERT-G.M./FORD/WESTINGHOUSE PHYSICIST/ENGINEER
    G.M.’S/DELCO’S (& FORD’S & CHRYSLER’S & TOYOTAS &…
    THE WHOLE AUTO INDUSTRY’S!!!
    [& AEROSPACE-INDUSTRY’S:
    B O E I N G:
    COMMERCIAL: 787-“DREAM”/NIGHTMARE(!!!)LINER(OF Li-ION BATTERY IN-FAMY!!!, MALAYSIA-AIR 767(NOW “666”!!!] IN-FAMY!!!; …; AIRBUS: …;
    & MILITARY:
    BOEING, LOCKHEED-MARTIN, NORTHRUP-GRUMMAN,…)
    T H E V E R Y – L O N G – T E R M R E C A L L PROBLEMS ROOT-CAUSE ULTIMATE-ORIGIN WAS TOO-OFTEN
    THEN(1960s-1980s-1990s) AND IS STILL NOW ONGOING(2000s):
    NOT JUST “SWITCHES”,
    BUT THEIR/SWITCHES’ INITIATORS,
    aka (PRESSURE) S E N S O R S, THAT CAN/DO/MUST
    TRIGGER/ACTIVATE/INITIATE ANY/ALL SWITCHES,
    MOST ESPECIALLY
    FRED KAVLI’S(RIP)
    K A V L I C O’S!!! (MOORPARK, CA.),
    [NOW OWNED BY FRANCE’S SCHNEIDER-ELECTRIC]:
    PRESSURE-SENSORSACCELEROMETERS (FAR INFERIOR TO ENDEVCO’S!!!),
    ALSO(AT VARIOUS GTIMES OVER VARIOUS DECADES)
    THERMAL/I.R., OPTICAL, MAGNETIC, RADIATION, …!!!
    KAVLI WENT ON TO BECOME A BILLIONAIRE AND FOUNDED THE KAVLI FOUNDATION(PRESIDENT: FMR. UCSD DEAN/PROFESSOR/DR/ NUCLEAR-ENGINEER/”PHYSICIST”) ROBERT CONN(AKA “CONJOB-BOB”), OXNARD, CA.) WHICH HAS AWARDED $$$ MILLIONS TO MANY UNIVERSITIES (EXAMPLE: UC SANTA BARBARA’S KAVLI INSTITUTE FOR THEORETICAL PHYSICS (KITP.ORG) AMONG LITERALLY DOZENS AND DOZENS AT: UCSD, UCI, UCR, MIT, HARVARD ETC. ETC,. ETC. …) BUT LITERALLY QUITE POSSIBLY AUTO-PURCHASERS’/ OWNERS’DRIVERS’PASSENGERS’/VICTIMS’ “BLOOD MONEY”,
    NO DOUBT FOUNDED AND FUNDED UPON THE INJURIES/GRAVES OF THE INJURED/DECEASED IN NEEDLESS AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENTS DUE TO MANY MANY TYPES IN MANY MANY APPLICATIONS KAVLI KAVLICO SENSORS’
    GENERIC ENDEMIC EXTANT ONGOING SYSTEMIC MALFUNCTIONING
    FOR SOME AT LEAST FOUR DECADES NOW!!!
    HOW DID KAVLI GET HIS MANY VARIOUS KAVLICO SENSORS TYPES SO WIDELY ACCEPTED???:
    EL CHEAPO MASS PRODUCTION
    LED TO
    EL CHEAPO MASS MARKETING
    LED TO
    EL CHEAPO MASS SALES
    (AT REDUCED PRICES UNDERSELLING HIS ONCE MANY COMPETITORS)
    LED TO
    EL CHEAPO COMPLETE LACK OF
    QUALITY-CONTROL(QC)/ QUALITY-ASSURANCE(QA)

    [SOME POSSIBLY CORROBORATING NAMES(IF STILL ALIVE!!!???:
    G.M.: DR. HARMON NINE(FRASER, MI.), STEVEN BABCOCK(LAST SEEN AT ATOMICS INTERNATIONAL, L.A.AREA); WILLIAM ISBELL(LAST SEEN AT LLNL BUT RETIRED BACK TO SANTA BARBARA); ALLEN MACMILLAN(ROCHESTER, MI.); DOUGLAS CHRISTMAN(ROCHESTER, MI.), FREDERICK SCHIERLOH, PETER HOCHSTEIN(!!!), HERBERT SHIPMAN(LAST SEEN IN SALT LAKE CITY); CHARLES WHITCHURCH, DAVID ROESSLER , DR./PROF. SIEGFRIED HECKER(LAST SEEN AS DIRECTOR OF LANL, THEN TO STANFORD UNIVERSITY), DONALD KOISTENEN, DR. BRIAN TAYLOR(BROWN UNIVERSITY ALUMNUS); DR. CHARLES BRUGGEMAN(UC-BERKELEY ALUMNUS); MICHAEL SHMENK(LAST SEEN MOVING OVER TO DAMLER-MERCEDES-BENZ IN GERMANY), ISIDORE HODES(CHIEF ENGINEER EMERITUS, G.M. MANUFACTURING STAFF), EDWARD COLE(G. M.PRESIDENT-EMERITUS), CHARLES VEST(MIT PRESIDENT-EMERITUS; CHAIRMAN-EMERITUS, NATIONAL ACADEMY OF ENGINEERING), COLIN MAIDEN, CHANCELLOR-EMERITUS, UNIVERSITY OF AUCKLAND(NEW ZEALAND), SIDNEY GREEN (FONDER/CHAIRMAN, TERRATEK, NOW SCHLUMBERGER/TERRATEK(SALT LAKE CITY)
    [& LAST BUT NOT HARDLY LEAST, FMR. ATTY. MICHAEL YOUNG ESQ., THEN PRESIDENT, UNIVERSITY OF UTAH,
    NOW PRESIDENT UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON,
    KNOWS A L O T ABOUT SUCH SENSOR PROBLEMS,
    MOST ESPECIALLY IN VIS A VIS JAPAN’S AUTOCOMPANIES VERSUS IN COMPETITORS U.S. AUTO COMPANIES!!!]

    BEFORE I JOINED THE NUCLEAR INDUSTRY
    (WESTINGHOUSE THEN PSEG THEN IAEA THEN ABB THEN ICTP=IAEA)
    I SPENT SEVERAL YEARS AT:
    MANUFACTURING-STAFF/G.M. TECH-CENTER, WARREN, MICHIGAN
    AND
    FORD MOTOR COMPANY SCIENTIFIC-LABORATORIES/SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH STAFF, DEARBORN, MICHIGAN,
    AND
    MY EX-WIFE AS AN ENGINEER AT CHRYSLER.

    EVEN THEN (1960s-1980s) SENSORS DUTY-CYCLES FATIGUE LIFE-CURTAILMENT WAS A MAJOR ISSUE
    [EXPERTS: PROF. ALAN WIDOM/PHYSICS/NORTHEASTERN UNIVERSITY; A UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA PROFESSOR LONG VERY TURKISH NAME WHO HAS PUBLISHED WHOLE ENCYCLOPEDIAS OF RELIBILITY THEORY AND EXPERIMENTS OF LITERALLY ANYTHING/EVERYTHING, MOST EPECIALLY SENSORS!!!]
    THAT BOTH FORD AND G.M. AND CHRYSLER SWEPT UNDER THE RUG ROUTINELY!!!

    [INTERESTINGLY ONE MAJOR PREPERTRATOR AT FORD WAS SENIOR ENGINEERING V.P. BALMER, THE FATHER OF UNTIL RECENTLY MICROSOFT CEO STEVE BALMER, HE WHO PERSONALLY BROUGHT YOU THE TWIN DELIGHTS OF: THE WINDOWS-EIGHT HORROR-SHOW AND THE WINDOWS-XP SUPPORT-CESSATION HORROR-SHOW IMMINENTLY TO-COME NEXT WEEK ON 4/7/14, A DISASTER FOR MANY BUSINESSES INCLUDING MOST ATMS!!!]