Caitlin Moran
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Canadian Researcher Predicts Autonomous Vehicles Will Cause Increase in Sex in Cars

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Google self-driving car old prototype

Self-driving vehicles like Google’s koala car might increase the number of driving distractions, including sexual intercourse
Photo: smoothgroover22

Looks like Canada’s got sex on the brain—and it might have a major impact on the autonomous vehicle industry.

According to Barrie Kirk of the Canadian Automated Vehicles Centre of Excellence, the amount of sexual intercourse occurring in vehicles is going to increase drastically when self-driving cars become more popular. The Canadian researcher was quoted in a recent report from CBC News, stating: “I am predicting that, once computers are doing the driving, there will be a lot more sex in cars. That’s one of several things people will do which will inhibit their ability to respond quickly when the computer says to the human, ‘Take over.’”

Well, that settles it. Canada’s a lot naughtier than we all thought—but Kirk brings up a very valid point.

Common sense dictates that passengers in autonomous vehicles won’t just be able to sit back, take a nap, read a book, watch a movie, or do a multitude of other hobbies while the car takes over driving. Drivers instead must be alert enough to know if or when they need to take over the wheel, particularly if there is an emergency situation that needs attention.

But distracted driving is sure to grow immensely when driverless cars become a commonality. After all, driving distractions exist at this moment when people are physically in charge of the vehicle they are driving. Despite what good judgement says even now, we’re a society that likes to be distracted behind the wheel—so why not enjoy your distraction as much as possible? If you know what I mean (nudge, nudge). After all, common sense typically goes out the window when a person is feeling a bit frisky.

New Girl Frisky

Currently, federal officials around the world are working towards building regulations that will prevent distractions—including hanky panky—in self-driving vehicles from growing. The likelihood of sexual intercourse behind the wheel isn’t the only distraction that officials are worried about. The less scandalous distractions like napping or reading are also taking top priority, making many industry experts wonder how it will be possible to stop distracted driving in autonomous vehicles, when people are currently driving distracted when they’re actually in control of the car.

This worry has been highlighted of late thanks to Tesla’s Autopilot program. Recently, a number of videos have been posted online showing Tesla drivers engaging in a variety of distracted driving activities, including reading a newspaper and brushing their teeth—and the Tesla Autopilot program isn’t fully autonomous.

“The issue of the attentive driver is…problematic,” said a note to Canadian Transport Minister Marc Garneau. “Drivers tend to overestimate the performance of automation and will naturally turn their focus away from the road when they turn on their auto-pilot.”

These videos are already proving that self-driving technology causes people to drive more distracted than ever before. If autonomous vehicle owners are already pushing the distraction limits of a semi-autonomous vehicle like Tesla, which only helps the vehicle stay in the lane, maintain speed, and apply the brakes if necessary, there’s no doubt that they will take the distracted driving to the next level given the chance with a fully autonomous vehicle.

Ergo, Barrie Kirk’s belief that more people will have sexual intercourse behind the wheel makes complete sense.

As driverless technology becomes more and more common, though, don’t be surprised if there are increasing measures to hinder such distractions. Safety is going to be the focus of many federal organizations, which means the next time you want to check car sex off your list of “Things to Do,” you might want to remember: as the number of cameras in the cars increase, Big Brother might be watching.

Doctor Who Watching Gif

News Source: CBC News