Drunk Couple Sleeping in Dumpster Gets Thrown into Trash Truck
They are seemingly trashy people
I know they say, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” But today I learned that they also say, “When you’re trashed, do as the trash does.”
A drunk couple sleeping in a dumpster was nearly killed last week when the trash container was emptied into a garbage truck on its morning route. According to police guesswork (and the only logical explanation), the pair had gotten really trashed at the Seminole Hard Rock & Casino before passing out inside the dumpster outside of a Wawa gas station in Tampa. It’s very likely that someone at the casino, having seen their drunkenness, told the bouncer to take out the trash, but, being giving people, the couple promised to take care of it themselves.
It was only upon being dumped into the actual truck that Donald Jordan, 37, and his girlfriend, Lisa Sirabella, 49, woke up and immediately began banging on the inside of the truck to be let out, probably because they’d seen Toy Story 3 and knew that this could only lead to bad things.
“I was picking up some containers,” the driver, Radmas Valasquez, told cops over the phone, according to The Smoking Gun. “I got two people. I don’t know how they got in the back of the truck. But they stuck in the truck.”
Valasquez had actually been just about to compact the trash, meaning Jordan and Sirabella would have been crushed to bits. “I almost killed both of them,” he recounted.
Valasquez was unable to get the pair out himself, so he had to call rescue crews to assist him in getting the hungover couple out of his trash truck. Incidentally, the garbage truck belongs to Progressive Waste Solutions. This certainly does seem like a progressive solution to a certain kind of waste problem.
A spokesman from the casino stated, “It was originally believed that they were homeless, but it seems they were just really intoxicated after hanging out at the casino.”
Both Jordan and Sirabella were taken to Tampa General Hospital with complaints of back pain, though I’m not sure if they were arrested afterward. They are no strangers to arrest, however. In recent years, Jordan has been arrested on charges of battery, cocaine possession, disorderly conduct, loitering, panhandling, trespass, and, the one I’m most shocked about, drinking in public. Sirabella, for her part, has been arrested for battery, drunk driving, loitering, resisting arrest, and theft.
On a positive note, one thing neither has been arrested for is littering. They both seem to have very well-founded beliefs about putting all trash where it belongs.
News Source: The Smoking Gun
Timothy Moore takes his leadership inspiration from Michael Scott, his writing inspiration from Mark Twain, and his dancing inspiration from every drunk white guy at a wedding. When Tim is not writing about cars, he’s working on his novel or reading someone else’s, geeking out over strategy board games, hiking with his pooch, or channeling his inner Linda Belcher over beers with his friends. See more articles by Timothy.