Kyle Johnson
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The Ford “Upside” Ad Slaps Cadillac #Upside the Head

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The Ford "Upside" ad features someone who actually works very hard to make her community better and dials down the self-satisfaction to zero.

Cadillac released an ad a little while ago wherein a chest-thumping millionaire espoused the values of the kind of hard work that allows only a small fraction of the world’s population to enjoy the brand of luxury that lazy poor people wish they could take for granted. Oh, it also apparently tried to get us to buy one of their cars. I didn’t particularly care for it, and neither did a lot of other people. Pashon Murray, the founder of Detroit Dirt, seems to be among those who didn’t care for the pomposity of “Poolside” and has issued a witty retort to what may arguably be one of the most obnoxious commercials ever made. (Yeah, that even includes all of those creepy ass Duracell commercials with the plastic Putterman family that have haunted your nightmares for the last couple decades.) Using the Ford C-Max Energi instead of the ELR, the Ford “Upside” ad is the working-person’s answer to “Poolside,” spotlighting the efforts of someone who works just as hard as Neil McDonough’s fictional rich douchebag but doesn’t have the $3 million property to show for it.

Ford "Upside" ad

Fun fact: this guy played M. Bison in the worst Street Fighter movie. And, no, that’s somehow not the Jean-Claude Van Damme one.

We dare say that General Motors might need to issue yet another recall, this time for the Cadillac ELR, because that sumbitch just got BURNED!

LOOK! IT’S A WOMAN FEATURED PROMINENTLY IN A COMMERCIAL FOR AN AUTOMOBILE! NOT ONLY THAT, BUT SHE’S A WOMAN WHO IS NOT CAUCASIAN! Come on, Pashon, you’re making it look too easy here. It’s almost like you’d have us think that most commercials feature white dudes because automotive companies are run by rich white dudes who primarily focus on attracting other rich white dudes. And that would just be silly, of course.

Ford "Upside" ad

The opening shot here asks the same question as Cadillac’s if-you-had-a-face-I’d-punch-it “Poolside” spot, only here we find Pashon Murray framed by the compost that her organization uses to revitalize the Detroit community.

Ford "Upside" ad

BUT HOW CAN WE KNOW THAT SHE WORKS HARD IF THERE IS NO SWIMMING POOL?

“Other countries, they work, they stroll to the market and buy locally grow food…locally.”

OH MY GOD, IT’S ALMOST LIKE SHE’S INSINUATING THAT AMERICA ISN’T THE BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD AND THAT AMERICANS (particularly wealthy Americans) ARE NOT THE BE-ALL-END-ALL APEX OF HUMANITY! THIS IS HERESY! THIS IS MADNESS!

Obvious

Pashon explains some of Detroit Dirt’s mission—collecting things that would normally be found wasting away in landfills and utilizing them to make soil in which food can be grown—before slipping into a sensible suit and striding boldly to her C-Max Energi Plug-in Hybrid.

Ford "Upside" ad

I understand that it’s eco-friendly,but where is all of the luxury?

Oh, and unlike Neil McDonough, she actually remembers to disconnect the charging chord. That’s okay, though: we assume Neil’s character was just too important and rich and busy and hard-at-work to remember something that trivial. He probably had one of his maids do it for him anyway.

Ford "Upside" ad

I pay people to do things for me!

“It’s pretty simple: you work hard, you believe that anything is possible, and you try to make the world better. You try. As for helping the city grow good, green, healthy vegetables, that’s the upside of giving a damn. N’est-ce pas?”

Ford "Upside" ad

The only thing colder in Detroit than February wind chill is that smirk. Chilly.

But…but…IT’S ALMOST LIKE YOU ARE TRYING TO SELL US ON A GREEN TECH VEHICLE WITH AN AD THAT EMPHASIZES ITS ENVIRONMENTAL FRIENDLINESS AND NOT THE FACT THAT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK YOU’RE RICH WHEN YOU DRIVE IT AROUND. LIKE…LIKE…THE CARS WE DRIVE ARE SOMEHOW NOT JUST OBJECTS OF ENVY AND STATUS SYMBOLS.

Ford "Upside" ad

Yeah, that’s exactly what they’re saying here.

Following the release of the Ford “Upside” ad, GM announced in a statement: “Yeah, well, um, we, like, do good stuff too, ya bunch of jerks. And, and, and our CEO is a woman, so we’re totally not just like this homogenized boys club, even if we probably only trotted her out in order to take all the heat for at least a dozen deaths that resulted from our failings.”

Score one for Ford here, ladies and gentleman. The C-Max Energi may not be as flashy as the ELR, and Pashon Murray may not be as high-profile a spokesman as Dave Williams from Desperate Housewives, but it damn sure makes for a better commercial.

  • Kyle JohnsonEditor

    Kyle S. Johnson lives in Cincinnati, a city known by many as "the Cincinnati of Southwest Ohio." He enjoys professional wrestling, Halloween, and also other things. He has been writing for a while, and he plans to continue to write well into the future. See more articles by Kyle.