Get a Load of These Morons in Chevy’s New Car Commercials
Thursday night’s Steelers-Patriots matchup marked the kickoff of the 2015 NFL season, which will culminate in Super Bowl 50 on February 7th, 2016. Thanks to our country’s love affair with televised football, the game also marked the unofficial kickoff of the 2015 car commercial season, a period which will also culminate in this year’s Super Bowl.
Chevrolet got in on the action with two new entries in its “Real People, Not Actors” campaign, a series of ads in which ordinary, everyday human beings are asked questions about an automotive industry which they know little about, and are then made to look foolish when their wild guesses (and frequent anti-Chevy biases) are proven false.
Check out this first one, entitled “Doors,” in which some lunkheaded man named Travis incorrectly guesses that Ford is the holder of the Motor Trend 2015 Truck of the Year title based on the logical fallacy that “there’s no reason why they shouldn’t be.”
Oh, Travis… You’re just a big dummy, aren’t you?
The “reason why [Ford] shouldn’t be” the winner of the 2015 Motor Trend Truck of the Year award is because Chevy is the winner! Thanks to the 2015 Colorado! Duh!
The lady to your left who knew that Chevy won was right to scoff at your answer, Travis. From now on, you should let her make all decisions for you.
In the second new ad, “Awards,” everyone is stupid (not just Travis):
In this commercial, another group of actual, genuine, sentient, bipedal creatures are tasked with picking the vehicle that they think was named highest in initial quality by J.D. Power: the Chevy Malibu, Silverado 1500, or Equinox.
The answer, of course, is that all of them were rated highest in their class (and so was the Spark, but Chevy must have figured that providing four options would have made the participants’ tiny little heads explode). Yet each and every one of these non-actors tries to pick a single vehicle, and is visibly shocked when the truth is revealed.
“You tricked me!” cries Erika.
Yes, and you fell for it, Erika. Like a chump. Shame on you. Shame on ALL OF YOU!
The key to a functioning democracy is a well-informed populace, yet these know-nothings can’t even tell you which truck has the best-in-class HD conventional towing, or which midsize car J.D. Power ranked highest in Initial Quality! Have they ever even looked at a newspaper?
It’s sad but sobering to contemplate the fact that many of these dullards probably vote, in spite of their complete ignorance of current events. They may be “Real People,” but it’s hard to say they qualify as “Real Americans.”
- Patrick GrieveEditor
Patrick Grieve was born in Southwestern Ohio and has lived there all of his life, with the exception of a few years spent getting a Creative Writing degree in Southeastern Ohio. He loves to take road trips, sometimes to places as distant as Northeastern or even Northwestern Ohio. Patrick also enjoys old movies, shopping at thrift stores, going to ballgames, writing about those things, and watching Law & Order reruns. He just watches the original series, though, none of the spin-offs. And also only the ones they made before Jerry Orbach died. Season five was really the peak, in his opinion. See more articles by Patrick.