Kyle Johnson
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GM is Recalling 3.36 Million More Vehicles, Of Course

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The latest bundle of recalls brings the number of cars that GM has "proactively" called back in 2014 past the 20 million mark.

GM is recalling 3.36 million

Even the 2014 Corvette Stingray is being recalled. Is nothing sacred?

The fact the GM is recalling 3.36 million more cars today for problems with the ignition switch would be hilarious were it not for the fact that General Motors’ ineptitude is well past the point of being comical and verging into con artist territory.

GM is recalling 3.36 million

The Impala joins the growing list of GM cars with faulty ignition switches

GM has issued six more recalls today, with the largest spanning the 2000-2005 Cadillac Deville, 2004-2005 Buick Regal LS and GS, 2004-2011 Cadillac DTS, 2005-2009 Buick Lacrosse, 2006-2008 Chevrolet Monte Carlo, 2006-2011 Buick Lucerne, and 2006-2014 Chevrolet Impala. The issue plaguing these vehicles concerns…you guessed it…a faulty ignition switch that can be knocked out of the run position if jarred.

GM is reporting that eight crashes and six injuries have been attributed to the issues involving these cars. Thus far, no fatalities have been reported.

GM is also issuing five smaller recalls:

GM is recalling 3.36 million

The 2014 CTS is among other vehicles being recalled for slightly less horrifying problems

  • 68,887 2013-2014 Cadillac ATS and 2014 CTS models are being recalled for a shift cable that can separate from the shift bracket and leave drivers unable to shift automatic transmissions out of gear (that’s a lot of shift…a lot of bullshift…har har)
  • 57,192 2015 Chevrolet Silverado 2500/3500 HD and 2015 GMC Sierra 2500/3500 HD are being recalled for improperly installed power steering hose clamps, which can disconnect without warning and cause a sudden loss of power steering fluid, power steering assist, and Hydro Boost powered brakes
  • 16,932 2011 Cadillac CTS sedans with AWD for a gasket leak that can cause the rear propeller shaft to separate, contact the vehicle floor, and cause the rollover sensor to deploy the roof rail air bags. Injury data is said to be “unclear.”
  • 712 2014 Chevy Corvettes with Competition Sport Seats due to unbelted children and door trim potentially blocking the passenger side air bag vent.

Seriously. It’s like someone at GM handed a high school auto shop class with middling grades the blueprints to their entire vehicle lineup for the last 10 years and said “here you go, try not to kill too many people, you crazy kids.”

Well, at least this press release didn’t have the balls to break its proverbial arm patting GM on the back for being “proactive” with this recall. GM praising itself for recalling broken-ass cars is like a kid asking their parents for $20 for cleaning their room. Here’s a tip: that’s what you’re supposed to do.

Oh, and friendly reminder, GM is definitely going to use their bankruptcy shield to reduce the payout that they’ll end up having to give bereaved families of their victims. Because they’re a classy, safety-first kind of company. Of course, by classy, I mean revolting. And by safety-first, I mean they only care about money.


  • Kyle JohnsonEditor

    Kyle S. Johnson lives in Cincinnati, a city known by many as "the Cincinnati of Southwest Ohio." He enjoys professional wrestling, Halloween, and also other things. He has been writing for a while, and he plans to continue to write well into the future. See more articles by Kyle.