Patrick Grieve
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Honda Releases #PhoneDownEyesUp Videos to Discourage Texting While Driving… or Doing Anything, Really

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Still from the Honda #PhoneDownEyesUp video "Texting and Gardening"

Honda’s marketing team has created a new anti-texting-and-driving campaign called #PhoneDownEyesUp, proving that they are as committed to automotive safety as they are to reminding us all of an old (NSFW) 2 Live Crew song.

As part of the social media campaign, Honda has been releasing videos that compare the dangers of texting and driving with the difficulty of texting while trying to accomplish other tasks.

Let’s take a look at some, shall we?

Okay, this first one focuses on the risks inherent in texting while gardening:

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Honestly, my reaction to this video is simply, “Wow, how’d that guy get the glove off his right hand so fast? And then get it back on so fast at the end of the video?”

Let’s see if this one makes a deeper impression:

Okay, the premise of this one seems a little flawed. “If you can’t text and make pancakes, you can’t text and drive”? I’ve never attempted it, but I’m willing to bet I could text and make pancakes. At the very least, I would notice the sound of the first pancake hitting the floor before I drop TWO MORE PANCAKES ON THE GROUND.

Now this one raises the stakes considerably:

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Dear God, is that woman snapping sharp scissors near her daughter’s eyes without paying attention?!? That could end in something way worse than a bad haircut! Someone should call social services.

Could any of these supposedly “lighthearted” #PhoneDownEyesUp videos have more terrifying implications?

Is… is he dead?

Did that dude just let his friend’s windpipe get crushed by a barbell?

Dear God, Honda, you win, okay? I won’t text and drive! Just please, show me no more of these snuff films!

Patrick Grieve was born in Southwestern Ohio and has lived there all of his life, with the exception of a few years spent getting a Creative Writing degree in Southeastern Ohio. He loves to take road trips, sometimes to places as distant as Northeastern or even Northwestern Ohio. Patrick also enjoys old movies, shopping at thrift stores, going to ballgames, writing about those things, and watching Law & Order reruns. He just watches the original series, though, none of the spin-offs. And also only the ones they made before Jerry Orbach died. Season five was really the peak, in his opinion. See more articles by Patrick.