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Ford Fiesta ST Shows How Not to Drive Nürburgring

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How not to drive Nürburgring

Today’s obvious Upworthy headline opportunity: “This Fiesta ST Seemed Primed to Kill Somebody. What Happened Next Made Me Thankful Nobody Actually Died.”

There are few things in life better than watching an expert driver dominate the track. And there are few tracks around the world that command as much respect (and fear) as the vaunted Nürburgring. What you may know is that the Nürburgring is considered the ultimate proving ground for production and performance vehicles; from the stupid-fast record of the Radical SR8LM (6:48.00) to the 7:22.00 run of the EcoBoost-powered Formula Ford, vehicles’ legends live and die by their Nürburgring times.

What you may not know is that anybody with a road-legal car or motorcycle—otherwise known by the giggle-worthy term touristenfahrten—can drive the Nordschleife on weekday evenings and weekends. This means that you get any number of folks driving around and living out their Bullitt-fueled fantasies, not terribly dissimilar from how every guy in your rec league thinks he’s got enough juice to take one good run at LeBron in a one-on-one game.

Related: Ford Focus ST Attracts New Market of Buyers

It also you means you get a lot of gems such as this video, gratefully accepted from the folks at Road & Track:

There’s a right way to drive the ‘Ring, and there’s a wrong way to drive the ‘Ring. And then there’s this guy’s way of driving the ring: like a toddler anxiously kicking at the pedals of a tricycle, not caring about any of the perils life hurls their way, only noticing the beautiful gift that is speed.

Related: Mark Fields to Replace Alan Mulally as Ford CEO

How not to drive Nürburgring

This Ford Fiesta ST has no regard for human life or the laws of physics.

What’s particularly awe-inspiring is the ST driver’s manner. He/she is absolutely unaffected by very nearly going ass over tea kettle and slamming into a retaining wall, jumping the edge and sliding nimbly back onto the track will all of the effortless grace of someone who very nearly spills their coffee and catches their mug mid-freefall with only some slight pants-staining.

This Ford Fiesta ST don’t care a damn bit, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Shine on, you crazy, reckless diamond. Shine on.

How not to drive Nürburgring

I have to go now. My planet needs me.