Patrick Grieve
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Jeremy Clarkson Dryly Explains Amazon Prime Air [VIDEO]

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Jeremy Clarkson holds a chewed-up Puma shoe in Amazon Prime Air drone video

If you’ve lately been feeling like there’s a shortage of snide remarks from middle-aged men in this world, maybe it’s because former Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson has remained relatively quiet since it was announced that he would be starring in a new car show for Amazon Prime.

But today, those suffering from Clarkson withdrawal have reason to celebrate, for the television host and automotive enthusiast has returned to the public eye in order to promote Amazon Prime Air and be cheekily dismissive of American football. In a new video for Amazon, Clarkson explains the online retail giant’s new plan to destroy traditional delivery services in much same way that it has destroyed old fashioned brick-and-mortar shops… but, you know, in a humorously droll manner:

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Amazon says that the 55-pound flying machine will be able to deliver any online order weighing up to 5 pounds, which includes everything from a child’s new set of sneakers to a downsized UPS driver’s antidepressant medication.

The service would seem to work best if you, like the fictional family in this video, live in a breathtakingly lovely home in the English countryside. One wonders how or if the drone will make deliveries to apartment buildings in densely populated urban areas–especially urban areas that are incredibly hostile towards robotic devices.

For now, we’ll just have to wait to find out, since Amazon says the service won’t start until the company has received “the regulatory support needed to safely realize our vision.”

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Patrick Grieve was born in Southwestern Ohio and has lived there all of his life, with the exception of a few years spent getting a Creative Writing degree in Southeastern Ohio. He loves to take road trips, sometimes to places as distant as Northeastern or even Northwestern Ohio. Patrick also enjoys old movies, shopping at thrift stores, going to ballgames, writing about those things, and watching Law & Order reruns. He just watches the original series, though, none of the spin-offs. And also only the ones they made before Jerry Orbach died. Season five was really the peak, in his opinion. See more articles by Patrick.