Daniel Susco
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Johnny Football Is Apparently the Last Person You Should Rent Your Car to

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Oh, Johnny Manziel, how far you have fallen.

Johnny Manziel

Photo: Erik Drost

You went from amazing college quarterback to Heisman trophy winner, then to first-round draft pick (to the Browns, but what can you do) before you were dropped to the second string for flipping the Redskins the bird in a preseason game, then presided over a sound stomping of the Browns at the hands of the Bengals in your first NFL game.

When you were finally slated to be the starter, video of you partying immediately ruined your chances, eventually leading down a path of party-fueled controversy to being cut from the Browns, being dropped by your marketing agency, and being dropped by both your agent and Nike.

Now, it seems that you can’t be trusted to handle yourself in a rental car, or to pay for the damage when you inevitably smash it into a utility pole, at least according to TMZ, The New York Post, and the Houston Press.

In a scene that seems directly out of a mob movie, you and a friend smashed a Mercedes S550 owned by one Wayne Schneider (apparently the car hit so hard every single air bag went off), ran from the scene, then returned and promised to pay for the $90,000 in damage.

Maybe He Should Read This: Here are some tips to a good carpool (No. 1, don’t hit a pole)

Mercedes S550

It’s a shame – I mean, just look at this car

Then, when you didn’t pay up two months later or so, Schneider tracked you down and blocked you in with a fleet of rental cars so you and he could have a little chat about debts, and possibly offers you can’t refuse.

Honestly, Johnny, you were good, but not party-and-ignore-debts-for-the-rest-of-my-life good. Seriously, pay for the Mercedes–the fact that someone would still rent you a car that is worth more than $90,000 is a sign that it still isn’t too late to turn this reef-bound ship around.

And Maybe Give This a Read, Too: Here is your guide to the right sunglasses this summer

News Sources: Houston Press, New York Post

  • Daniel SuscoEditor

    Daniel Susco is a native of the Dayton-Cincinnati area, and has written on a multitude of subjects. He can discuss Shakespeare, expound on Classical Mythology, and even make witty jokes about Pliny the Elder (More like “Pliny the Rounder,” right?). In his free time, Daniel enjoys reading, cooking, woodworking, and long walks on the beach (just kidding – sunburn is no joke). See more articles by Daniel.