Kyle Johnson
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Suspended Browns WR Josh Gordon to Sell Cars in Ohio

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Josh Gordon to Sell Cars

Josh Gordon to sell cars at Ohio dealerships after being handed a 16-game suspension
Source: Erik Drost/Flickr

Cleveland Browns wideout Josh Gordon will be sitting out the entirety of the 2014-2015 NFL season because he was caught on video dragging his unconscious fiancé on an elevator. Clearly, the loss of a full 16-game season and the millions of dollars he would receive for playing in those games is a firm reminder that the NFL does not tolerate domestic abuse and cares deeply about its female audience.

Oh, no, wait. I was thinking of Ray Rice, who got the disciplinary equivalent of a stern head-shaking for being a terrible human being who hits women.

No, Josh Gordon’s season-long suspension is the result of testing positive for marijuana. Well then. That makes total sense. It’s reassuring to know that, at least in the NFL, the punishment always fits the crime.

But don’t worry for Josh Gordon too much, because a tweet from ESPN’s Josina Anderson reveals that the 23-year-old has plans to stay busy during his lost season:

According to the full text:

#Browns WR Josh Gordon has a new job. He will be the goodwill ambassador for the Sarchione Auto group in Randolph, Ohio, which includes Sarchione Ford and Sarchione Chevrolet . He will be working in all aspects of their car business including as an on-floor salesman. Gordon will also be heading all of their local community efforts including with the Wounded Warriors Project. He starts this weekend.

If you live in or around Randolph and you’re looking for a good deal on a new or used car, then why not stop in and talk to Josh Gordon? Give the guy a commission from a 2015 Explorer, why don’t ya? He’s probably a good guy at heart. It’s not like the guy got a slap on the wrist for punching his fiancé in an elevator or anything.

Kyle S. Johnson lives in Cincinnati, a city known by many as “the Cincinnati of Southwest Ohio.” He enjoys professional wrestling, Halloween, and also other things. He has been writing for a while, and he plans to continue to write well into the future. See more articles by Kyle.