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Man Makes Like Coyote, Chews Through Police Cruiser Seatbelt

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Ugh, don't you just want to chew on this until it you can wriggle free?

Ugh, don’t you just want to chew on this until you can wriggle free?

Remember that thing where, if a coyote gets caught in a trap, it’ll chew its own leg off to get away? Well, we humans like to think that we’re smarter than that.

For Pete’s sake, silly coyote, why don’t you just chew on the trap?

That’s what we like to think was going through the mind of Lashon Stuckey, a Chicago man who was under arrest for possession of a controlled substance, and decided to chew through the squad car’s seatbelt.

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Stuckey had originally been picked up after police allegedly saw him conducting a narcotics transaction. Police stopped him, and found that he was in possession of several bags of heroin.

After taking the rodent’s escape method (chew on it until you can escape), Stuckey told police that he was trying to get away because it was his son’s birthday, and he didn’t want to miss it.

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Honestly, it must be one absolutely terrifying kids’ party if it involved several bags of heroin and a man completely willing to chew his way to freedom.

Police, apparently unmoved, tacked criminal damage to property onto Stuckey’s charges.