Kyle Johnson
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More GM Recalls: 56K Saturn Auras, 51K 2014 Buick/Chevy/GMC Models

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More GM recalls

The 2007 Saturn Aura

Announcer: Today is a day that ends in the word “day,” which means it’s a perfect-enough day for another round of…more GM recalls!

*game show music plays*

*crowd applauds*

Host: Who are our lucky contestants today, Rich?

Announcer: Why, we’ve got 56,214 Saturn Auras from the 2007-2008 model years!

*crowd applauds*

Host: The 2007-2008 Saturn Aura! A fine choice indeed. Tell us a bit more about our 56,214 friends!

Announcer: Sure thing! Well, these Auras, built between April 24, 2006 and October 31, 2007 and equipped with a four-speed automatic transmission, all have the potential for…a FRACTURE IN THE TRANSMISSION SHIFT CABLE!

*crowd applauds*

Announcer: A fracture in the transmission shift cable can occur when the vehicle is being driven, which makes it impossible to shift the Saturn Aura into park or remove the ignition key. Of course, not being able to park your car or remove the keys creates a rollaway threat, which can result in…

Audience (together): AN INCREASED RISK OF INJURY!

Host: All right! And who will those 56,124 Saturn Auras be playing against today?

Announcer: Why it’s none other than 51,640 Buick Enclave, Chevrolet Traverse, and GMC Acadia models from the 2014 model year!

More GM recalls

2014 Chevy Traverse

*crowd applauds*

Announcer: These 51,640 Enclaves, Traverses, and Acadias were manufactured between March 26-August 15, 2013. These particular models could have a problem with the engine control module software that might cause the fuel gauge to read incorrectly. This could lead to running out of gas and stalling at a really inopportune time, which can result in…

Audience (together): AN INCREASED RISK OF INJURY!

Host: How about that, huh? Another week, 100,000 more GM recalls. Amazing stuff. Now, before we start, let’s fill you in on some of the details. GM has not provided any sort of notification schedule yet, but owners of the affected vehicles can call them at 1-800-553-6000 (GM), 1-800-521-7300 (Buick), 1-800-222-1020 (Chevrolet), and 1-800-462-8782 (GMC).

The recall number for the Saturn Aura is 14152. The number for the 2014 Buick/Chevy/GMC models is 14007. Owners may also contact the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration Vehicle Safety Hotline at 1-888-327-4236 (TTY 1-800-424-9153), or go to www.safercar.gov.

Redesigned Buick Enclave Exports to China

The redesigned 2014 Buick Enclave

Okay, is everybody ready to play?

*Recalled vehicles say nothing because they are not sentient creatures*

Host: Hm. Not the talkative sort, eh Rich?

*Announcer says nothing because he does not exist*

Host: Heh. Tough crowd.

*Audience does not react because they are not there*

Host: Tough crowd.

*Host bows his head and weeps softly as he is left alone with his fevered imagination and the endless dread associated with GM recalls*