Notice: Dieseltec’s Anti-Gay Owner Just Wants to Scam Up Some Cash
Did you kids hear about the new get-rich-quick scheme going around? Well, it looks like Grandville, Michigan’s own Dieseltec got the memo, and it said that the formula for getting a ton of free publicity and a truckload of cash from morons is as follows:
- Make blatantly racist/homophobic comments publicly that suggest that your business will not cater to a certain group because RIGHTS
- Claim immediately that you are not racist/homophobic, but that you are simply exercising your RIGHTS/FREEDOMS as an American/Christian
- Follow up by saying that your business is suffering to such a degree that you may have to shut down while making sure to toss out a line about receiving death threats and lamenting the loss of RIGHTS (Ex. WHERE DID ALL THE RIGHTS GO I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA HOME OF THE RIGHTS?)
- Wait patiently for someone to start an IndieGoGo/GoFundMe campaign
- Profit off of the false indignation of some of the dumbest human beings on the planet
- Continue to be an awful racist/homophobe, only now a richer one
In a vitriolic-yet-completely transparent Facebook post, Dieseltec owner and proprietor Brian Klawiter boldly proclaimed that he is, among other things: white, an American, a Conservative, a Christian, a taxpayer, intolerant of gays, an advocate for both the First and Second Amendment, and a martyr for a dying cause. It’s that last bit, though, that Klawiter hopes will curb him enough favor with people of his ilk that someone might set up a crowdfunding campaign to support his business (or to pay the fine for his 1999 assault and battery conviction).
Oh, don’t get me wrong; Klawiter’s nearly incomprehensible rant and his obnoxious overuse of scare quotes provide an authentic enough glimpse into the fevered brain of a brittle, fleshy fossil. These are most definitely the words of a man who is terrified that Obummer is going to take his guns and that gay marriage will lead to the extinction of mankind, and almost certainly the words of someone who most likely thinks that Walter Scott got what was coming to him. He’s exactly the kind of idiot that you think he is, but he’s just slightly more than that. He’s an idiot like a fox.
Brian Klawiter’s public display of bigotry is a mere circumstance of opportunism. You see, Klawiter is attempting to steal a page from the book of Memories Pizza in Indiana (or, to complete the earlier analogy, he simply reading their memo). After the controversial RFRA passed in Indiana earlier this month, the folks at Memories were quick to say that they would, under the new law, refuse service to gays. This sparked outrage that led to a torrent of negative Yelp reviews and various other forms of Internet Justice™, subsequently leading Memories to shutting down for a few days.
As a result, 29,161 indefensible human beings felt that a pizza shop was more deserving of alms than, say, the sick or the homeless, and virtuously handed over the ridiculous sum of $842,442 in the span of a two-week GoFundMe campaign.
Brian Klawiter doesn’t run a pizza parlor, however. He runs “a full service light to medium duty diesel repair and performance shop” that offers services such as diagnostics, maintenance, repair, and performance tuning. The business’ website says that Dieseltec’s employees “bleed torque,” which just kind of speaks for itself. Like the owners and proprietors of Memories Pizza, Brian Klawiter says that he doesn’t have to cater his business to anyone he doesn’t want to (because America); unlike the O’Connor family, however, Klawiter is almost certainly doing this solely because he wants some easy press and some easy money.
Brian Klawiter isn’t interested in celebrating his FREEDOM or sticking it to the LIBERALS or even telling you that YOU ARE THE REAL RACIST.
He just wants your sweet, sweet cash. And that’s not even conjecture. He basically spells it out for you in his follow-up post this afternoon where he attempts his hand at reverse psychology.
If you need a translation, he’s basically BEGGING you for your money. “I also am not asking for anyone to do the gofundme postings.” = “I AM TOTALLY ASKING FOR THE GOFUNDME POSTINGS.”
Klawiter went to MLive.com with his sob story, saying that his staff is on edge because of the death threats, and that THEY are all the real victims. He says that his million-dollar business is simply a consequence of “God’s plan.” He laments that his viewpoints are not protected by the government and that those who speak out against him are such COWARDS.
“Outside, off my property, it’s a free country,” he told them, probably straight-faced, during his interview. “In here, it’s my business and that’s the way it’s going to be. I had no idea my voice was so powerful.”
He’s basically a turd wrapped in an American flag. His comment about a discount for gun owners? That’s just him calculating a lowest common denominator and making sure that he’s got all of his ducks in a row.
If you disagree with Brian Klawiter, don’t waste your time picketing outside of his shop. He’s a dying echo, and his viewpoint will likely never change. Pretty soon, however, his opinion will be no more valid than that of your old racist grandpappy.
If you happen to live in Grandville and you need work done on your diesel truck, why not visit Nyenhuis Collision Center? Or how about Carl & Bill’s Garage, Grapewood Frame & Axle, Exceptional Auto Parts, Peninsular Diesel, Petey’s Pit Shop, or M & T Auto? They’re probably much less likely to try and scam you out of your money.
If you’re the sort who sees what Brian Klawiter attempted to say here and thinks “I should really give that guy some money because he’s just standing up for what I believe in,” just understand that you are being played.
You might believe that gay people do not have the same rights as you. You may feel like you are having your rights suppressed by THEM. You may feel like a business has all the same rights as a person.
You’re absolutely wrong on all fronts, but you’re entitled to your wrongness. As is Brian Klawiter.
He is not, however, entitled to your money. So don’t give it to him. Just because you’re on the wrong side of history doesn’t mean you have to be a sucker, too.
- Kyle JohnsonEditor
Kyle S. Johnson lives in Cincinnati, a city known by many as "the Cincinnati of Southwest Ohio." He enjoys professional wrestling, Halloween, and also other things. He has been writing for a while, and he plans to continue to write well into the future. See more articles by Kyle.