Ohio Apparently Has the Best Deals on Used Cars in the Country
So Come Visit Us. Please.
In news that will surely make the Ohio Tourism Board very happy, the Buckeye State turns out to be a Mecca for good deals on used cars. According to a new list by The Street, which ranks the five best and worst places in America to buy a car, Ohio has two cities in the top five (more than any other state) and two others that receive honorable mentions.
First off, if you want a real steal, you need to follow Liz Lemon’s lead and flee to the Cleve. That’s right; Cleveland (city of lights, city of magic, so sayeth Randy Newman) is home to an average 5.75 percent discount on used cars compared to the national average.
The Rock ‘n’ Roll Capital of the World beats out both Stamford, Connecticut (5.5 percent) and New York City (5.65 percent), ranked at four and three respectively, both of which are clearly nowheresville-towns that just can’t compete with the thriving metropolis that is Cleveland.
The only city that has better used car deals than C-Town is Miami at the number one spot, which makes it even more bizarre that LeBron recently left the Heat to return to the Cavaliers. Doesn’t he realize he could have gotten a sweet deal on a 1997 Volvo with less than 200,000 miles if he had just stayed in Florida? I mean, I understand that he’s a millionaire superstar, but Miami’s 8 percent used car discount is nothing to sneeze at.
Speaking of which, King James’ hometown of Akron, Ohio rounds out the list at number five, boasting an impressive 4.96 percent discount from the national average. That should be happy news for the Rubber City, which is still home to Goodyear Tire’s headquarters.
The article also gives shout-outs to Toledo and Dayton (which also has its own Randy Newman song) for having used car prices below the national average.
Notably absent from the list is Columbus, Ohio, which is where this writer recently purchased a used Prius, because apparently he is a chump. (What can I say? The dealer had a cardboard cutout of himself standing next to Arnold Schwarzenegger! I was wooed!) Cincinnati is also nowhere to be found in the rankings, which is a statement most sports fans are probably used to hearing (ba-dum-tsh).
In contrast, the five worst places to buy a used car are Jackson, Mississippi (6.6 percent above the national average); Albuquerque, New Mexico (7 percent); El Paso, Texas (7.1 percent); Seattle, Washington (7.3 percent); and the absolute worst of the worst, Fresno, California, where you will pay a staggering 7.8 percent premium. It seems that the closer you get to the Pacific Ocean, the higher the prices get. This finding should add more fuel to the ever-raging East Coast vs. West Coast vs. Ohio Coast debate.
The article attributes Ohio’s low, low prices not to the fair-minded business practices of our inspiringly honest citizens, but rather to the fact that “its 11.6 million people in a relatively small, car-reliant state with winters that absolutely chew through vehicles. Should there be any surprise this state plows through used cars?”
Well, it’s not the most flattering description, but… we’ll take it.
- Patrick GrieveEditor
Patrick Grieve was born in Southwestern Ohio and has lived there all of his life, with the exception of a few years spent getting a Creative Writing degree in Southeastern Ohio. He loves to take road trips, sometimes to places as distant as Northeastern or even Northwestern Ohio. Patrick also enjoys old movies, shopping at thrift stores, going to ballgames, writing about those things, and watching Law & Order reruns. He just watches the original series, though, none of the spin-offs. And also only the ones they made before Jerry Orbach died. Season five was really the peak, in his opinion. See more articles by Patrick.