Daniel Susco
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Police Shut Down Girls’ Lemonade Stand For Lack of Permits

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So, clearly our future robot overlords have begun taking over. I can think of no better explanation of why I could truthfully write the following:

The Police Chief of Overton, Texas, Clyde Carter, shut down a roadside lemonade stand run by two girls, aged seven and eight. They were trying to raise some money to help buy a Father’s Day gift. And why did they do this? They shut it down for not having a peddler’s permit and health department permit. The peddler’s permit costs $150, and the health department permit requires a government inspection.

robot scarecrow

Photo: R.xR. Anderson

Presumably after that, Carter beeped a few times and told the girls that he was out of toner.

The police chief and city secretary defended his actions, saying, basically, laws are laws.

The Chief compared the situation with the lemonade stand to a situation where a title company set up a tent in Overton offering car title loans, and the police had to run them off for soliciting without a license.

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“We can’t run one off and then let someone else do it,” he said, because clearly two little girls selling lemonade at 50 cents per cup so that they can buy a father’s day gift is the same as a company setting up a tent to sell car title loans (we are all the same in the glowing eye of the mechanical overlords).

He also mentioned that he had safety concerns since the stand was in the “middle of the street” off of Farm-to-Market Road 850, but confirmed that the road where the stand was actually set up was a dead-end cul-de-sac.

Charitably, Carter and the city secretary agreed to waive the license fee for the girls, but said they believed the girls would need a health department permit to sell the lemonade.

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Recognizing a prime, steamy pile of bull when they heard it, someone asked Carter if the girls could simply give out free lemonade and accept donation. Carter replied, “I don’t guess that would be illegal,” indicating a possible breakdown of his logic circuits.

Angry robot

Photo: Torley

The girls will be offering their lemonade for free on Saturday (June 13th) from 10am to noon – that is, unless the police pick them up for conspiracy to defy the coming Glorious Mechanical Revolution.

  • Daniel SuscoEditor

    Daniel Susco is a native of the Dayton-Cincinnati area, and has written on a multitude of subjects. He can discuss Shakespeare, expound on Classical Mythology, and even make witty jokes about Pliny the Elder (More like “Pliny the Rounder,” right?). In his free time, Daniel enjoys reading, cooking, woodworking, and long walks on the beach (just kidding – sunburn is no joke). See more articles by Daniel.