Kyle Johnson
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A Story About the Cadillac SRX, and a Recall

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Wherein I discuss a bachelor party, my experience riding in/driving a Cadillac SRX, and then bookend it by telling you that there's a recall. MULTI-TASKING.

Here is a thing that I did.

Here is a thing that I did.

A few weeks ago, I officiated a close friend’s wedding in Chicago. It was one of those experiences where you’re about two days and several hundred miles removed before you just kind of stop in the middle of eating an egg-over-easy and think oh, I totally just married two human beings, didn’t I? As wedding proceedings tend to go, there was a bachelor party two weeks beforehand, wherein a group of old friends and I drove up to Columbus in the groom’s father’s brand-new Cadillac SRX.  Upon arriving, we got on a pedal cart and got appropriately obliterated. Because, y’know, tradition or whatever.

Cadillac SRX

I apparently decided it was a great time to be Max Schreck in this photo.

My friend’s father has been a sales manager at a prominent Cadillac dealership for many years, and he had not really taken a shine to my proclivity for bashing his brand for their inane advertisements. Before my friend took the keys, his father told me to pay particular attention to the SRX’s finer qualities and to consider doing a write-up on my experience in the backseat. And so I did.

Cadillac SRX

One thing I will say: The SRX looks way less sinister than it does in its promo shots

I can say this much: the SRX is an extremely comfortable ride, it oozes that token Cadillac quality, and it handled the road like a dream. Of course, I noted most of these things on the ride up Saturday afternoon, as my head felt to be something roughly approximate to a balloon filled with chunks of granite on the Sunday drive home. I drove the SRX back the last 15 miles of the way, and I was no less impressed by its beastly nature. Once I took the wheel, I began feeling just a little bit clearer, though that may have been two large coffees and a cold pop kicking in.

Cadillac SRX

Cold pop has saved my life more than once.

When I returned the keys to my friend’s father, I told him that I indeed enjoyed the ride and that, yes, I would try to write something about the SRX. As a matter of fact, I thought, I hadn’t ever written anything about the SRX. I figured that I would use the next opportunity I had to say something nice about just how smooth the Cadillac SRX drives, how luxurious is feels, and how unobtrustive the cabin smells, the latter of which is particularly useful when you’re trying to remember how many small plastic cups of liquor you consumed the night prior and keep the contents of your stomach right where they belong.

Oh, Right…The 2013 Cadillac SRX is Being Recalled. So There’s That.

Today, I write about the Cadillac SRX for the first time. Because it is being recalled. To be precise, 50,571 2013 Cadillac SRX models, manufactured between May 29, 2012 and June 26, 2013 and equipped with 3.6-liter engines, are being recalled for a potential three-to-four second lag in acceleration due to faulty transmission control module (TCM) programming.

Result? If your vehicle doesn’t accelerate when you want it to, you may find yourself involved in a crash. The recall notice doesn’t provide a specific start date for the recall, but it does instruct owners to contact Cadillac customer service at 1-800-458-8006 with any questions.

Another GM recall. How surprising. And here I am, forced to once again denigrate The Wreath (they don’t put the wreath on the logo anymore, but I think that bit of shorthand oughta stick).

My apologies to the father of an old friend who is now happily married. By me. Oddly enough. Cadillac SRX

Kyle S. Johnson lives in Cincinnati, a city known by many as “the Cincinnati of Southwest Ohio.” He enjoys professional wrestling, Halloween, and also other things. He has been writing for a while, and he plans to continue to write well into the future. See more articles by Kyle.