Movin’ on Up: Toyota Headquarters to Move to Texas
Everything is bigger in Texas—until now, as Toyota, a manufacturer focusing on much smaller, and thus much greener, cars, has plans to move Toyota headquarters to the Lone Star State. The unofficial-but-let’s-face-it-it’s-actually-probably-very-true report comes from Automotive News, which got its information from the always mysterious Unnamed Sources, a guy I have always wanted to meet but can never quite connect with on Facebook.
Toyota has called Torrance, California, home for 57 years, but news that the automaker is looking to move is really no surprise. Nissan jumped ship for Smyrna, Tennessee, nearly a decade ago, and Honda currently has its foot out the door, having already moved some bigwigs to Ohio. (I’m from Ohio, and I feel very, very sorry for said bigwigs, unless they enjoy making snow angels on April 7th and then nearly dying from pollen allergies on the 8th).
Reportedly, Los Angeles has become an incredibly expensive place to conduct business. Toyota sees the cost advantages of relocating to Plano, Texas, where the cost of living is 39 percent cheaper, and housing costs are down 63 percent, which means, of course, cheaper salaries for the same jobs.
According to Automotive News, execs were told of the plans on Friday, and other employees will be finding out today…or last night, you know, if they read any news articles about the industry in which they work. Surprise!
A Toyota spokeswoman refused to comment on “rumor and speculation,” but luckily I’m a mind reader and can produce what she was thinking, word-for-word: “Oh crap, they know. Who the hell let this one slip? I’ll just lie through my teeth. That’s always the best policy. …Oh, I should definitely get caught up on House of Cards tonight. …Crap, they’re still here. Better think of something fast. Just tell them that you don’t comment on rumor and speculation. They’re from the media; they’ll understand. I’m sure they won’t say a thing until we issue a formal statement. …Kevin Spacey is so damn good.”
Texas could prove to be a good fit for Toyota. The brand already manufactures pickups there, in an effort to make people think they’re honest-to-God ‘Murican trucks. Plus, Plano is reportedly one of the safest cities and best places to live, according to CNN and Forbes, but what do they know? Maybe they’re all from Dayton and just pointed to some place on the map and said, “Here is a better place to live.” Because that’s what I do in my free time, and ten times out of ten, I’m right.
We’ll be sure to let you know if when Toyota makes the announcement official.
Timothy Moore takes his leadership inspiration from Michael Scott, his writing inspiration from Mark Twain, and his dancing inspiration from every drunk white guy at a wedding. When Tim is not writing about cars, he’s working on his novel or reading someone else’s, geeking out over strategy board games, hiking with his pooch, or channeling his inner Linda Belcher over beers with his friends. See more articles by Timothy.