Kyle Johnson
No Comments

The Trident Iceni is So Stupidly Awesome it Hurts

Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size Text Size Print This Page

Diesel-powered. 395 horsepower. 700 lb-ft of torque. Available in fastback and shooting brake models. Coming to America.

Trident Iceni

This is the Trident Iceni. It’s the secks.

I’m going to throw a bunch of words at you, and I want you to point out all of the things that are eminently appealing: a diesel sports car with a manual transmission that comes with a shooting brake variant and has a base output of 395 horsepower and 700 lb-ft of torque. You’re probably thinking “all of these things sound great, but that first part means that this is probably a thing that will get and that I will never have the chance to drive in my entire life.” Well, you’d be wrong, because we’re getting it all right. The vehicle to which I refer here is the Trident Iceni, which Jalopnik reports will be available in the United States once it passes EPA testing.

GALLERY: The Trident Iceni Magna

Oh yeah, you’re probably curious about the horsepower. The base version of the Trident Iceni indeed cranks out 395 horsepower and 700 lb-ft of torque. Add an available Track Pack, and you’re looking at 660 horsepower and 1050 lb-ft of torque. Jalopnik states that there are rumors of a more powerful version on the horizon. Because ridiculous just isn’t enough, apparently.

Trident Iceni

So then there’s the tricky issue of the diesel engine. First off: get over it, America. The Trident Iceni is going to be able to go from 0-60 mph in about 3.7 seconds with a top speed of 190 mph (again, that’s the base version), and because of the way that the V8 turbo diesel is built to run (980 RPM on the highway), you’re looking at a 2,000 mile range on a single tank. Oh, and it’ll run on bio-diesel, which means you can kick a Lambo’s ass with Used Cooking Oil, Paraffin, or Kerosene.

Trident Iceni

A concept sketch of the Trident Iceni Venturer. Yep: SHOOTING BRAKE.

Bad news for the lay people: the Iceni is probably going to cost at least $120,000 because of course it’s going to be expensive. It’s a road-mangling, diesel-powered monster. But soon, it’ll be our road-mangling, diesel-powered monster. So, hey, people with money: buy a lot of these things so that we can start getting some more diesel-powered goodness down here in the middle class.

  • Kyle JohnsonEditor

    Kyle S. Johnson lives in Cincinnati, a city known by many as "the Cincinnati of Southwest Ohio." He enjoys professional wrestling, Halloween, and also other things. He has been writing for a while, and he plans to continue to write well into the future. See more articles by Kyle.