The News Wheel
1 Comment

[VIDEO] Disgruntled Hellcat Driver Gives Us 7 Commandments for Dodge SRT Hellcat Owners

Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size Text Size Print This Page
2015 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat | Disgruntled Hellcat Driver Gives Us 7 Commandments for Dodge SRT Hellcat Owners

A YouTuber fed up with seeing the Hellcat fail because of the driver created a video to teach people to race a Hellcat correctly: 7 Commandments for Dodge SRT Hellcat Owners
Pictured: Two 2015 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcats

Both the Dodge Challenger and Charger SRT Hellcats lay down 707 horsepower. They should be dominating the competition left and right at the drag strip. Yet a number of videos have been uploaded to the interwebs showing less potent cars destroying the Hellcats on the strip. Why? It’s not because the Hellcats aren’t good; it’s because the drivers aren’t.

One YouTuber, bigtruckseriesreview ., is fed up with dealing with internet trolls who tell him that the Hellcat sucks and that his penis is small (we’re just guessing the second part). He is especially angry at the video below, which shows a Tesla Model S obliterating a Challenger SRT Hellcat at the strip.

So naturally, he created a very eloquent (not really, he actually uses lots of bad language) video entitled “7 Commandments for Dodge SRT Hellcat Owners.” Check it out, but remember, it’s definitely NSFW and also more than a little bit (a lotta bit) sexist:

What are the main takeaways from this incredibly grouchy man with wounded pride? Here are a few:

  • Use the damn red key, for the love of god, no matter what, unless you’re a girl because you’ll wreck the car. (Did Saleh al-Saadoon make this video?)
  • Teslas are for liberals, and liberals are for Canada, and Canada is for communists.
  • Use the shift light system, dagnabbit.
  • If you’re old, learn to use computers or die. You’re no good to society alive but stupid.
  • Widen those rear tires. What were you thinking?!
  • All-wheel drive is for squares. And squares belong in Canada, and we already covered Canada.
  • Why the hell are you racing with a retracting spoiler?
  • Don’t race an electric vehicle because you will lose, and who wants to lose to a sissy EV? Trees can kiss my butt.
  • Don’t race planes. Probably because your car can’t fly.
  • Get your shit together, guys. Come on.

Seriously, despite the guy’s flaws, he does make some valid points as to how to race with your Hellcat. If you’re interested in taking a Challenger or Charger SRT Hellcat to the drag strip, keep the video’s 7 commandments in mind. Unless you’re a girl, because you shouldn’t be driving a Hellcat.

amy poehler really snl weekend update

  • Pose

    By the way, the hellcat is made in Canada…. Just to let you know….