The News Wheel
No Comments

Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man Replaces Scarecrows

Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size Text Size Print This Page

wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man
If there’s anything that Goosebumps, schlocky movies from the 80s, and one of Batman’s most fearsome foes have taught us, it’s that scarecrows are possibly more terrifying for human beings than they are for birds.  New York winery owner, Ted Mar, was clearly not in favor of creating a towering terror-beast to haunt his dreams while protecting his vineyard grapes, so he called upon the services of Mr. Pinot—a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man, something typically used to welcome drivers to car dealerships.


Celebrity Rides: If Game of Thrones Characters Drove Cars


As predicted on Family Guy, the wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man is good for more than just promoting your car dealership (though we can’t speak to its ability to keep grandma company or just raise the roof): a government-funded research project has placed these ever-smiling and colorful figures at four wineries in New York’s Finger Lakes region.  According to Mar’s quote from The Wall Street Journal, the wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man has helped his Atwater Estate Vineyards enjoy a successful season.

“Mr. Pinot, as we call him fondly, we feel has done the best job of anything,” the 72-year-old said.  “It was hysterical.”

Michigan State University associate professor of zoology, Dr. Catherine Lindell, believes that results garnered by using the wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man have been strong enough to earn another year of funding from the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

“I certainly think that’s a step-up from your stationary scarecrow,” Dr. Lindell said.  “Birds are pretty smart and they do habituate to things pretty quickly.”

Steve Otto, a blueberry farmer from Michigan who also happens to be an Elvis impersonator on the weekends (seriously), approves of the transition of the wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man from car lot to crop land.  Otto, who bought four wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men, said, “You can almost imagine a real good funk beat going on, and they’re really doing their thing out there.”

Though they have been given reflective tape hair to appear scarier, and despite the fact that Marshal Baggett of Air Crow has begun to sell wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men with angrier faces (because birds are keen as to what a frown intends, of course), we can’t help but see our friends as shiny, happy people.  And despite the rebranding to “Air Rangers,” they’ll always be wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men to us (unless they are of the female persuasion, in which case they’d be wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube women; all about equal opportunity, folks).

Have you noticed any other car-related technologies or inventions applied elsewhere in the world?


Celebrity Rides: If Game of Thrones Characters Drove Cars