Olympic Wrestler Byers Charged With Hunting Deer at Lexus Dealer
Generally speaking, if someone says they’re going hunting at their local Lexus dealership, it’s a fair assumption that they’re talking about tracking down the last IS F or hashing out a good deal on the RX Hybrid. It’s almost never taken to mean, say, stalking a stag with a bow and arrow through rows of pristine luxury automobiles like Joel from The Last of Us. Almost never, that is, unless you’re talking about two-time U.S. Olympic wrestler Dremiel D. Byers, who was charged with suspicion of hunting out of season and illegal possession of wildlife at a Colorado Springs Lexus dealership.
Police were called out to the dealership at 6:52 pm on Thursday after several people took note of a man hunting a deer with a bow and arrow. One can only imagine the guffaw that the local dispatcher let out upon hearing multiple reports of a monstrous man stalking around a car dealership with a bow and arrow, intent on hunting way more than a bargain.
The police notified Colorado Parks and Wildlife, who located the injured buck and, despite their best efforts, were forced to euthanize it. Unfortunately, shoppers at that particular Lexus dealership were the only ones able to save a buck that day.
Byers—who himself is a beast of nature at 6’2” and around 260 lbs.—placed ninth overall at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London and is a 10-time U.S. National champion. According to The Denver Post, he’s also a U.S. Army sergeant first class, stationed at Fort Carson as a unit supply specialist, and has earned a number of medals for meritorious service, good conduct, and commendation.
Given the nature of charges levied against him, it’s a fair assumption that he’s an avid (if not somewhat oblivious) hunter. If the case gains enough traction in the news, it’ll only be a matter of time before we can watch Dremiel Byers portraying The Huntsman on WWE Raw and battling it out with Bray Wyatt, “The Eater of Worlds.” Oh, the storyline writes itself (which means that WWE creative would probably find a way to blow it anyway).
If convicted, Byers faces fines and the loss of his hunting rights. No word on how much fines could amount to, but it’s fair to say that Byers may end up paying deer-ly.
Dat joke, doe.
Okay, we’ll stop.
Say what you will, but Byers sounds like the kind of man we’d want in our group after most of the world’s population turns into fungus-people.