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You Can Buy Dennis Rodman’s Hideous, Nudie-Covered 1996 Hummer H1

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Dennis Rodman's 1996 Hummer H1

Having yourself airbrushed on the back of your hummer = the ultimate in tastefulness
Photo: eBay

Update: The listing ended without any bids, and so this Hummer remains on the loose. Look over your shoulder, America; the eyes of airbrushed Dennis Rodman may be upon you even now.

There were a lot of really great things about the year 1996. One of these things was the full return-to-form of Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls, who defeated the Seattle Supersonics that year to win their fourth NBA Championship and, ultimately, the first in the franchise’s second three-peat.

1996 was also apparently a great year for Chicago Bulls forward/world-renowned eccentric Dennis Rodman, who averaged 13.7 rebounds throughout the playoffs and tied an NBA Finals rebound record twice, hosted his own reality talk show on MTV, released an autobiography entitled Bad as I Wanna Be, and famously dressed up in a wedding gown and married himself.

Another reason that 1996 was a great year for Dennis Rodman? He bought a Hummer H1 and then spray-painted a whole bunch of naked women on it. Because Dennis Rodman, that’s why!

Dennis Rodman's 1996 Hummer H1

That sure is some fine objectification you got going on there, Dennis!

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If you want to make 2016 a great year, then you might want to consider plunking down the $55,000 Buy It Now price for this subtle and tactful attention-grab masquerading as a vehicle. This is a must have if you are a fan of: Dennis Rodman, completely gratuitous nudity, basketballs, Hummers, wasting gas, Lisa Frank Trapper Keepers, wasting money, the year 1996, tackiness, and rebounds.

If you want to scope out the totally NSFW images for yourself before making your determination, you’ll want to check out the eBay listing while it’s still live. We were asked to post images that would “tastefully remove anything that might be considered offensive,” so here’s what we’ve got:

Dennis Rodman's 1996 Hummer H1

This “always garaged and pampered” Hummer H1 has a paltry 22,000 miles on the odometer, “runs strong and shifts smooth,” and “is a piece of art.” We don’t know art, but we know what we like. This is neither art nor likeable, but it certainly is a spectacular monument to tawdry American excess.

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Gallery: Dennis Rodman’s Hideous 1996 Hummer H1

Dennis Rodman's 1996 Hummer H1

News source: eBay (Via: Jalopnik)