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Stupid Lawsuit: Couple Can’t Park F-150 in Driveway

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F-150 in driveway

Ceci n’est pas une véhicule privé

There are few things in this world that are considered sacred. One sacred truth: if you own, lease, or rent a home, the driveway thereof acts as your own personal parking spot to use as you please. Not so, however, if the Kimry Moor Homeowners’ Association is to be believed.

According to a lawsuit filed against David and Arna Orlando, the right to park in one’s own driveway apparently does not extend to a black 2014 Ford F-150 on the grounds that it does not qualify as a “private, passenger-type, pleasure automobile”…despite the fact that David Orlando says that the truck is his own personal passenger vehicle.

“This is absolutely absurd,” he told, echoing the sentiment of every rational-thinking human being around the country.

The semantics, according to the plaintiffs, are what make the Orlandos’ nefarious driveway-parking ways so scandalous. According to Paul Curtin, the attorney for Kimry Moor Homeowners’ Association and a professional peddler of idiocy, a pickup truck “is not a passenger vehicle by definition.”

So, you see, the Orlandos’ F-150 is not a private vehicle. Despite the fact that the truck is registered with the state as a passenger vehicle and that neither David nor Arna Orlando actually own a commercial license.

Ah, but those are mere facts, and Curtin says that facts such as these are simply “not germane” to his case. And when have we ever let something as sophistic as facts get in the way of the truth?

“This is a silly rule,” said Tom Cerio, the lawyer who is representing the Orlandos. “It’s fair to say the association is definitely overreaching. And they are enforcing this rule for a personal use vehicle, not a commercial vehicle.”

According to the original article, “a reporter saw a full size pickup with cap, a large van and a sports utility vehicle parked other driveways in Kimry Moor.”

Our advice to the Orlandos: keep the truck in the driveway and put up a zombie nativity scene.

zombie nativity scene

Might as well make the hassle worth your while

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