Catherine Hiles
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I Want a Chrysler Pacifica Hybrid, Please

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2019 Chrysler Pacifica Hybrid III
Photo: Chrysler

What started out as a random thought has more recently blossomed into a full-on obsession. I drive down the road and see a cool mom behind the wheel of a minivan, blasting some rap or NPR, and I think… that could be me. I could be a Minivan Mom.

The birth of Minivan Mom

Here’s a little backstory for you. I’m a mom of two kids — a four-year-old “fournado” and a 10-month-old baby. My first kid was an unexpected addition to the family, and I had only recently bought a brand-new subcompact hatchback to be my daily driver. I lasted until she was about eight months before I upgraded to a wagon.

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That wagon has been a beloved part of the family ever since. But since baby #2 made his debut last August, I’ve been wishing for more space — both in the form of seating and in the form of cargo space. My mind has gone back and forth between a three-row SUV and a minivan, and although it took a while to admit it to myself due to the stigma of driving a van, I really want to be a Minivan Mom. Specifically, I want a shiny new Chrysler Pacifica Hybrid because I also like the environment and stuff.

“Well,” you ask. “Why not just buy the minivan?” Well sure, that would be the next logical step in my quest to become Minivan Mom. But right now our budget is stretched because of daycare costs, and my wagon is paid off, and I like not having a car payment.

What’s the solution?

The most obvious (and least fun) solution is to just stick with the wagon and try to forget about my Pacifica dreams. My five-seater has plenty of room for us on a daily basis, and the space issue really only occurs when we take a longer trip, or when my mother is visiting and one of us has to squeeze ourselves into the narrow space between the two carseats.

I have a better solution, and it involves Chrysler. This idea came to me recently when I read my buddy Morgan’s article asking Kia to give her a Stinger. So here goes. Chrysler, please give me a Pacifica Hybrid so I can fulfill my dream of becoming a Minivan Mom. It doesn’t even need to be brand new — I’d settle for a CPO version.

Why should you give me a minivan?

Because I am a mom and I know moms. I know you gave Pacifica Hybrids to the moms from Another Mother Runner to spread the word about the Pacifica’s awesomeness through their various social media channels. I can’t pretend to have close to the same following, but I am part of a few mom groups and I would sell the Pacifica Hybrid hard to my 429 Facebook friends, 68 Twitter followers, and 231 Instagram followers.*

I will strive to mention my Pacifica in every conversation I have with a mom, and I will try to do it as naturally as possible. “Thanks for the restaurant suggestion, Stacey. I think I will take my Chrysler Pacifica over there tomorrow! Of course, I will be able to get there using absolutely no gas because it’s a plug-in hybrid, and my kids will be entertained the entire way thanks to standard features like Apple CarPlay and a USB media hub.”

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Sounds good, right? I can also brag to my mom friends about how my kids won’t be able to dent the car next to us when opening the door in a parking lot, thanks to the Pacifica’s power sliding doors. (That’s my biggest reason for wanting a minivan right now, besides the added space.)

So as you can see, Chrysler, giving me my very own Pacifica Hybrid is a smart business decision for you and could save you hundreds of dollars on marketing efforts that target moms in the greater Dayton area. Will you help me fulfill my dream of becoming a Minivan Mom? Hit me up.

*As of 12:03 p.m. on June 13, 2019.