If there’s one thing we know about President Donald Trump, it’s that he is loath to complain.
It’s not easy being the most powerful billionaire in the world, but somehow, Trump manages to shoulder the burden with quiet dignity, resisting the temptation to lash out at his critics or blame anyone but himself for his failures.
And yet, in a recent interview with Reuters, our genial and easygoing self-effacer-in-chief did take a rare moment to lodge one objection about his current station in life.
“I like to drive,” the President of the United States said. “I can’t drive anymore.”
Amid sympathetic cries of “SAD!,” members of our #FakeNews media quickly went to work digging up old mementos of Trump’s past love affair with motoring. And this two-and-a-half-year-old Facebook post from Melania Trump is what they found:
Oh man, that does look like fun!
Apparently, we have discovered Trump’s “happy place”: motionlessly operating a vehicle at night, as his youngest child and youngest wife ride along in complete silence, allowing him to fully enjoy the Taylor Swift lyric that best describes his own life, “got a long list of ex-lovers/ they’ll tell you I’m insane.”
One thing about the video that has attracted some criticism is the fact that Trump’s son Barron is riding shotgun, while his wife Melania is confined to the backseat. Now, it should surprise no one that Donald Trump prizes his male heirs over their disposable birthing mothers, but in this case, Barron’s place at his father’s right-hand side may have been a bit reckless.
As a writer at Fusion notes, this video was filmed in Florida in late 2014, when Barron Trump was just eight and a half years old. Florida’s Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles recommends that all children under the age of 12 remain safely buckled in the back seat, no matter how much open contempt you have for their mother.
So, as shocking as it may seem, we now have video evidence of Donald Trump doing something that is pretty dumb at best, and downright dangerous at worst.
Who could have possibly seen this coming?
Patrick Grieve was born in Southwestern Ohio and has lived there all of his life, with the exception of a few years spent getting a Creative Writing degree in Southeastern Ohio. He loves to take road trips, sometimes to places as distant as Northeastern or even Northwestern Ohio. Patrick also enjoys old movies, shopping at thrift stores, going to ballgames, writing about those things, and watching Law & Order reruns. He just watches the original series, though, none of the spin-offs. And also only the ones they made before Jerry Orbach died. Season five was really the peak, in his opinion. See more articles by Patrick.