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World Cup of Cars: Chile vs. Brazil

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The Round of 16 gets underway today with Chile vs. Brazil. For our second round of our World Cup of Cars, we’re pitting the most appealing vehicles of those that appeared in the preliminary stages against one another in a kind of mortal combat that doesn’t end with a spine being ripped out and a friendship being ruined over your tendency to “spam ice ball attacks.” I’m sorry, Jeff. I’ll never stop apologizing.

Chile vs. Brazil

2014 Kia Rio 5-Door

For Chile, we’ve got the Kia Rio, which you can get as a subcompact sedan or a subcompact hatchback. With an MSRP starting at $13,900 for the sedan and $14,000 for the hatch (which is worth it provided its EPA-estimated 2-miles-per-gallon-better city driving performance), it’s a pretty handsome and well equipped car for the money.

Chile vs. BrazilThe Onix only comes available as a hatchback (which is fine enough) and essentially fills the same needs as those of the Rio. It carries a higher MSRP (closer to $15,500USD) and generates less power (99 horsepower to the Rio’s 138 horsepower), and while we couldn’t drum up any fuel economy estimates for the Onix, we’re willing to bet they’re not better than the Rio. Really, the only advantage that the Onix has over the Rio is that it’s the Chevrolet you have ever seen.The-chevrolet-you-have-ever-seen

So the Rio wins, though not so much with a spine rip. Maybe more like, say, a spinning back kick into an uppercut or…ugh…jumping on its shoulders and stretching its neck out to a giraffe-like length.

Be sure to check out Chile vs. Brazil over on ABC today at 12! And hey, Jeff, when you’re done, if you’d like to come over and play some Injustice, well, that’d be awful great.