Giant Henry Ford Parade Float Commemorates Company’s History, Reminds Us Not to Smoke
The Henry Ford parade float sits next to another parade entry.
Tomorrow morning, Detroit will play host to one of Thanksgiving’s most popular parades, America’s Thanksgiving Parade® presented by Art Van. And what would a Detroit parade be without a contribution from auto giant, Ford? In fact, the contribution itself features a giant Ford—and it just may scare your entire family.
Ford’s parade contribution seems innocent enough: a 100-foot-long float celebrating Henry Ford’s 150th birthday as he holds a cake and trails a Ford Focus (the world’s best-selling vehicle) and a globe, meant to signify Ford’s global reach. (Although, I do have to wonder how the old man would feel about having his age displayed to the entire world like that. “Yay, you’re 150, now let’s tell everyone just how old you are!”) The seemingly innocent float also includes six massive screens demonstrating all that Ford Motor Company Fund and Ford Volunteer Corps do around the world.
But the photos below show that the float is anything but innocent. Ladies and gents, boys and girls, I give you the Henry Ford stoma.
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- The Henry Ford parade float features 150-year-old Henry Ford with a giant hole in his neck.
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- The Henry Ford of our nightmares stands in a crowd of his employees, his stoma waiting to attack.
I imagine that, in all reality, that neck hole serves a purpose, that some lucky person is going to stick his or her head through the hole while operating the float, but without anyone inside, the giant Henry Ford looks rather frightening. To be honest, I can’t see him being much less frightening with a person inside either, really; then it’ll just look like he has a stoma and he eats people. (In case you don’t remember from history class, that was not the case.)
If you and your family are brave enough to look this stoma in the eye, you should plan on getting downtown early tomorrow morning. The parade begins at 8:45 a.m. at the intersection of Kirby Street and Woodward Avenue near the DIA. You can also watch safely from home on WDIV-TV and WJR-AM if you’re in the area, or on a local, NBC-affiliated channel if you live outside of Detroit.
Godspeed, you brave souls.
Henry Ford Parade Float Photos
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- The Henry Ford of our nightmares stands in a crowd of his employees, his stoma waiting to attack.
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- Bill Ford stands in front of the Henry Ford parade float.
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- Bill Ford stands in front of the Henry Ford parade float.
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- The Henry Ford parade float features 150-year-old Henry Ford with a giant hole in his neck.
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- The Henry Ford parade float sits next to another parade entry.
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- Ford workers at the reveal of the float.
Timothy Moore takes his leadership inspiration from Michael Scott, his writing inspiration from Mark Twain, and his dancing inspiration from every drunk white guy at a wedding. When Tim is not writing about cars and money, he’s working on his novel or reading someone else’s, geeking out over strategy board games, hiking with his pooch, or channeling his inner Linda Belcher over beers with his friends. See more articles by Timothy.