Why on Earth is KFC a Drive-Through Restaurant?
One of the most beloved — and unhealthy — indulgences in America is undoubtedly fast food. Plus, the convenience of the drive-through window makes these quick-service restaurants the best choice for motorists who are feeling a bit peckish but don’t want to waste the time to sit down for a full meal. One brand in this space has never made much sense to me, and that’s KFC.
And yes, this is kind of a back-door “Terrible Car Snacks” article.
A car that deserves better than gnarly grease stains: The 2021 Chevy Blazer
A brief word on KFC
Before I jump into the meat of this article (pun intended), I need to clarify a few things. First, my issues with KFC don’t come from a belief that its food is “too good” to be served through a drive-through window. Nor do they come from any particular dislike for the brand’s menu offerings, as I enjoy a good slab of extra-crispy, extra greasy fried poultry as much as the next person. My complaints are of a logistical nature.
KFC is bad car food
Looking at KFC’s current menu, I can’t help but think that the Colonel — who I guess is Mario Lopez now — managed to cultivate a selection of some of the least driver-friendly foods out there. Right up front, you’ve got their signature fried chicken, which requires navigating at least one bone and, in my experience, requires a fair amount of concentration. Plus, there’s virtually no situation in which chowing down of a couple of crunchy chicken thighs on the road doesn’t turn your steering wheel into a slippery nightmare.
Next, you’ve got some classic sides like mashed potatoes, coleslaw, and mac and cheese. All three of these dishes require a utensil unless you’re willing to lower yourself to a level of depravity from which you may never be able to recover. Or, you could opt for a world-famous slop bowl, which has the exact same issue. Tenders aren’t off the hook, either, as I’ve made it pretty clear that dippables are terrible car snacks.
The only offerings I think you can safely eat while driving are sandwiches, fries, and plain, gravyless biscuits. And that’s just not enough to convince me that KFC’s drive-through window is anything more than a way to expedite the pickup process before you bring your meal back to the comfort and safety of your home.
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Aaron was born in a suburb of Toledo, Ohio and has managed to traverse most of the state between college and various shenanigans. Having majored in video game development and minored in film studies, he is a considerable fan of both forms of media. Additionally, he is available to explain why Mad Max: Fury Road is one of the best feminist films of all time at the drop of a hat. His aspirations include — but are not limited to — not accidentally adopting any more cats and developing a responsible sleep schedule. See more articles by Aaron.