Aaron DiManna
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Why on Earth is KFC a Drive-Through Restaurant?

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One of the most beloved — and unhealthy — indulgences in America is undoubtedly fast food. Plus, the convenience of the drive-through window makes these quick-service restaurants the best choice for motorists who are feeling a bit peckish but don’t want to waste the time to sit down for a full meal. One brand in this space has never made much sense to me, and that’s KFC.

And yes, this is kind of a back-door “Terrible Car Snacks” article.

A car that deserves better than gnarly grease stains: The 2021 Chevy Blazer

A brief word on KFC

Before I jump into the meat of this article (pun intended), I need to clarify a few things. First, my issues with KFC don’t come from a belief that its food is “too good” to be served through a drive-through window. Nor do they come from any particular dislike for the brand’s menu offerings, as I enjoy a good slab of extra-crispy, extra greasy fried poultry as much as the next person. My complaints are of a logistical nature.

KFC is bad car food

Looking at KFC’s current menu, I can’t help but think that the Colonel — who I guess is Mario Lopez now — managed to cultivate a selection of some of the least driver-friendly foods out there. Right up front, you’ve got their signature fried chicken, which requires navigating at least one bone and, in my experience, requires a fair amount of concentration. Plus, there’s virtually no situation in which chowing down of a couple of crunchy chicken thighs on the road doesn’t turn your steering wheel into a slippery nightmare.

Next, you’ve got some classic sides like mashed potatoes, coleslaw, and mac and cheese. All three of these dishes require a utensil unless you’re willing to lower yourself to a level of depravity from which you may never be able to recover. Or, you could opt for a world-famous slop bowl, which has the exact same issue. Tenders aren’t off the hook, either, as I’ve made it pretty clear that dippables are terrible car snacks.

The only offerings I think you can safely eat while driving are sandwiches, fries, and plain, gravyless biscuits. And that’s just not enough to convince me that KFC’s drive-through window is anything more than a way to expedite the pickup process before you bring your meal back to the comfort and safety of your home.

Did a slippery steering wheel get you into an oopsie?: Turn to the experts