10 Scariest Cars in the World
Here at The News Wheel, we’re huge Halloween fans. Although we’ll be hard at work delivering the latest automotive news today, tonight you’ll find us handing out candy to trick-or-treaters, checking out our local haunted houses, or even attending Trunk or Treat festivities with our families. But before we do all that, it’s time to get serious by discussing the 10 scariest cars in the world.
10. Hyundai Elantra
The Hyundai Elantra might seem like a normal car at first glance, but it’s actually an evil bunny that has taken to the road in order to kill you. Just add some red to the front of its headlights to create evil eyes, and imagine the sweeping shape of the backs and sides of the lights as bunny ears. Finally, with a line down the middle of the license place to crate two bunny teeth, you have the car of your nightmares.
The Hyundai Elantra as an evil bunny
9. Porsche 911 GT3
Earlier this year, Porsche recalled 785 911 GT3 models because their engines could catch fire and bad things could happen. While this is scary, the main reason the Porsche 911 GT3 appears on this list is so I could use this picture:
The 2014 Porsche 911 GT3 with its engine on fire
8. Chevrolet SSR
The SSR was Chevy’s attempt at making a “fun” truck. Sadly (or happily), it failed. The SSR is described as a “retractable hardtop convertible pickup truck,” which is scary enough before you even see the vehicle. Is it a car? A crossover? A truck? A convertible? Why, it’s all of those things, and it’s a mistake that should never have seen the light of day (although I have to concede that the DinoSSauR is pretty damn cool).
A monstrosity that should never have existed
7. Nissan cube
Nissan is one of those automakers that just can’t stop making scary-looking cars. Sometimes, it works (as with the popularity of the frog-like JUKE). Other times, it does not work at all. The Nissan cube falls in the latter category, and is one frightening-looking car. Thankfully, Nissan seems to have realized this, and the cube was recently discontinued. But you can still see them on the roads, with their boxiness and their weird back windows that wrap all the way around. Shudder.
WHY IS IT LOOKING AT ME?!?!??!
6. Any White Van
If I ever see a white van on the highway, I’m immediately terrified. Not only do they bring to mind kiddy-fiddlers who have painted “FREE CANDY” on the sides of their vans, but white van drivers are, more often than not, extremely obnoxious. White vans (and any color vans, really) have no hood to speak of, which seems to give their drivers free reign to sit right on your ass until you get over to let them pass.
Please don’t tail me.
5. Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet
Another ugly Nissan that was recently discontinued, the Murano CrossCabriolet is one of those vehicles that has the potential of causing a car crash purely because it is so repulsive. It’s a convertible crossover. Yes, that’s a thing that existed. Seeing one of these things cruising down the highway with the top dropped is enough to make you want to crash your car.
One of the most impractical vehicles ever.
4. Chrysler PT Cruiser
The Chrysler PT Cruiser is a vehicle that will haunt your dreams. It looks vaguely like a hearse, and is either driven by old people who really shouldn’t still be driving, or young crazies who paint flames down the sides of their butt-ugly cars. Note: Painting flames on a PT Cruiser does not make it cool. Underneath it all, you’re still driving a PT Cruiser, and nothing can make it any less of a monstrosity.
Nope. It’s still a PT Cruiser.
3. Chevrolet Venture
Picture the scene: you’re driving home from work one Friday afternoon, enjoying the feeling of not having to go back to work for two whole days, when you spy a car that looks like Hitler. This is exactly what happened to me a couple of weeks ago, and it was terrifying. Naturally, I wanted to know exactly which brand had designed a Hitler-esque vehicle, and I was unsurprised to see it was Chevrolet. The Chevrolet Venture, to be exact. I’d venture (ha) to guess Chevy didn’t intend for this car to look like Hitler during design, but perhaps its Nazi appearance is the reason it’s no longer a thing that’s made.
That’s a mustache, right?
2. Any GM Vehicle
Okay, so perhaps not any GM vehicle. There have to be some, at least, that haven’t been recalled this year for faults capable of killing you. It certainly doesn’t seem like it, however, since the American giant has so far recalled a whopping 26,566,585 in the US this year alone, compared to the 7,371,743 vehicles sold globally by GM between January and September. When this fiasco first emerged, GM employees were presented with a list of phrases they were forbidden from using in relation to GM vehicles, including “decapitating,” “suicidal,” “genocide,” and “potentially disfiguring.” Not to forget my own personal favorite, “rolling sarcophagus.” Sounds like it’s Halloween for GM all year round!
The 2010 Cobalt is one of 26,566,585 recalled in the US so far in 2014
1. Youabian Puma
If you’ve never heard of the Youabian Puma, you’re one lucky duck. This vehicle, which Jalopnik compared to “an elephant with elephantitis [which] got a vivid blue paintjob and then set out to systematically murder all of LA,” is, quite frankly, one of the most terrifying concept vehicles ever to grace an auto show. It looks like an angry midget on steroids and it costs a mind-blowing $1.1 million. If anyone can find a scarier vehicle out there, I’d love to see it. (Be sure to check out the controversy surrounding our original post and our follow-up post.)
Well, I know I will have nightmares tonight.
Catherine Hiles (she/her) is a native Brit living and working in Dayton, Ohio. Cat has written about a variety of subjects, including finance, cars, and parenting. She is a frequent contributor to Dayton Mom Collective, The Penny Hoarder, and WDW Magazine.
Cat lives with her husband, their two kids, and their energetic pitbull mix. She counts running, lifting weights, walking, and reading among her hobbies. See more articles by Cat.