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There are lots of ingredients that go into “so bad they’re good” movies. The most obvious, of course, is terrible acting, which is usually driven by a laughable, awkward script and grade-school level directing. One of the best — and worst — attributes of these strangely lovable films, though, is extended driving sequences that serve no purpose other than padding the runtime. Here are three of my favorite examples.
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“The Room”
Ah, the crème de la crème of garbage cinema. “The Room” is widely regarded as the “Citizen Kane” of bad movies, and for good reason. The man who wrote, directed, and starred in the picture — Tommy Wiseau — may be the single best argument to support the idea that aliens are real. Naturally, the incomprehensible screenplay reflects that fact. In order to help the movie hit feature-length, it’s crammed with scenes of Wiseau’s character, Johnny, driving to and from places that have little if any relevance to the plot. Like, a lot of them. Plus, there are roughly 300 million glory shots of the Golden Gate Bridge, which may actually be the best actor in the film.
“Birdemic: Shock and Terror”
There are plenty of enormously impactful monster and apocalypse movies that use the genre to shed light on serious social, political, or environmental issues. “Birdemic” is not one of them. Between compelling plot points like our hero Rod discussing “An Inconvenient Truth,” watching the news, and trying to sell solar panels — which he pronounces “solpinls” — we’re treated to extended driving sequences. At times, it legitimately feels like the filmmakers were scared that we wouldn’t know how Rod arrived at a location if they didn’t show us every second of the journey. Watch the movie and tell me I’m wrong.
Your time is valuable, which is why I’m going to cut to the chase here — a courtesy that “Manos” most certainly does not offer. The film’s opening follows a family on a road trip and lasts for about 7 thrilling hours. You may have paid for the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge when you watch a middle-aged white man round a corner at 4 mph for the 30th time. Thankfully, the director took mercy on our hearts and cut up the action with some shots of the aforementioned middle-aged white man’s widow’s peak in the rearview mirror.
If you’re in the market for a movie with pulse-pounding car chases and high-octane thrills, watch “Mad Max: Fury Road.” But, if you’re in need of a few good laughs, these three are hard to beat.
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