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Quick Quack Car Wash Salvages Snappy Jingle from $100K Accident

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Quick Quack Car Wash

So here’s an interesting question for y’all business-minded folk out there: what do you do when a 94-year-old man in an Oldsmobile (heh) mistakes the accelerator for the brake, goes hurtling through your carwash at speeds of about 40 miles per hour, and winds up doing about $100,000 worth of damage to your business?

The correct answer: take the closed circuit footage of the incident, overlay it with a snappy jingle, and monetize that thing.

After the aforementioned incident occurred at a Quick Quack Car Wash in Sacramento, California, on January 9th, it was determined by someone very smart that video of the incident would make for a great bit of advertising. And so they turned it into a commercial:

For your pleasure, here are the complete lyrics:

Going to Quick Quack Car Wash

Get my car washed

Make it Quick Quack

Pretty, shiny, sexy, just because I wanna

Don’t drive dirty

Wanna give my car suds

At the Quick Quack Car Wash

It’s the Quick Quack quickest and the cleanest by far

We’re talking three skinny minutes

Sit right in your car

Watch one-hundred-plus feet of brushes

Brushing right thar(?)

At the Quick Quack Car Wash

Any Honda, Mazda, Ford, or Chevy

Saab or Cadillac

Quick Quack’ll spruce it up

*crackling noise*

Just like that

You’ll be happy

Looking snappy

You’ll be glad you was at

 The Quick Quack Car Wash

Get on the web and go to

And see where

 You got your closest Quick Quack

In the Sacramento area

Get in your car

Get in your truck

Get on the road and come and visit the duck

*fine print talk and sales specials as the camera zooms in on the Oldsmobile careening into a retaining fence*

 Quick Quack Car Wash

(Quick Quack)

It’s like the worst best slam poetry you’ve ever read.

Can’t get enough? Well, good, because you can also buy the song—“Don’t Drive Dirty”—on iTunes. Seriously. Hopefully that old dude gets a cut of the profit.