Woman Sets Man’s Car on Fire at McDonald’s
Because McFlurries are serious business
Things got a little rowdy at a Jacksonville, Florida McDonald’s the day before St. Patty’s Day, and I can’t say I’m surprised: Shamrock Shakes are freaking delicious—I’d get rowdy for one too.
Apparently, a man and a woman were arguing over ice cream at 12:30am on Sunday. It seems that the woman thought she deserved a delicious McFlurry, but the man disagreed. (Honey, when your man doesn’t think you’re worth a McFlurry, not even a small one, it may be time to leave him.)
“They were going at it,” said a witness, Sabryna Maré, to 47 WTEV. “She was saying she wanted this and wanted that, and she wanted either a McFlurry or an ice cream on top and he was not in for it. Then he was yelling at her saying he’s not going to do it.”
So naturally the next step in the argument was for the hungry woman to exclaim, “I’m going to blow it up!” She snatched the man’s keys, marched outside, and made good on her promise.
“She got something out of the car that happened to be a bottle and then she got gasoline from who knows where,” explained Maré. “Then she poured everything all over it and next thing you know there was a match and it was up in flames.”
While witnesses tried to help the man put out the burning car, the woman reportedly sprinted through a nearby parking lot and disappeared into the night. Witnesses were unable to confirm whether she laughed maniacally and chanted, “Ba da da da da, I’m loving it,” while storming off. Police have no leads on the woman’s identity; all they know so far is that she is not Billy Joel.
The car was completely engulfed in flames by the time the fire department arrived. With their help, they were able to put out the fire to discover that the 1994 Cadillac El Dorado was not too damaged to drive. (I must add that I was not surprised to find that yet another burning vehicle was the product of a General Motors brand…)
Once the car was salvaged, the man and his Caddy suddenly disappeared, but reports say that the El Dorado was later found abandoned just a few streets over. Police determined that the license plates did not match the car, meaning it was likely stolen, but have yet to cite the Hamburglar as their number one suspect.
Timothy Moore takes his leadership inspiration from Michael Scott, his writing inspiration from Mark Twain, and his dancing inspiration from every drunk white guy at a wedding. When Tim is not writing about cars, he’s working on his novel or reading someone else’s, geeking out over strategy board games, hiking with his pooch, or channeling his inner Linda Belcher over beers with his friends. See more articles by Timothy.