‘Cars’ Rip-Off Review: ‘CarGo’ (2017)
Pixar’s Cars is a beloved film for good reason. It has fun characters, great writing, spectacular animation, and a unique style. But where there’s quality and success, you can be sure imitation isn’t far behind. Cars might be the single most ripped-off, imitated, and outright plagiarized film in Pixar’s library; believe me, there’s no shortage of awful animated movies starring talking cars out there. Perhaps foolishly, I’ve been on a journey to track these films down and turn my viewing pain into your reading pleasure. Today’s copyright-infringing specimen: a flick from 2017 called CarGo.
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Giving “CarGo’ more attention than it deserves
Before we can dive into CarGo, we need to talk about who made it. This film was produced by the infamous “mockbuster” factory, The Asylum. These folks are responsible for such fine cinematic wonders as Atlantic Rim, Transmorphers, and the Sharknado franchise. If you’re familiar with those movies, you know exactly what you’re in for with CarGo.
This blatant Pixar cash-in tells the tale of a young car named Danny Car-Buckle and his love interest, Cabigail. And if that sentence didn’t make you face-palm hard enough to cause skull damage, you might not actually be human. But it gets better: Danny’s best friend is literally named Vin Diesel. Too bad they didn’t get the real Vin to perform the voice.
Most of the plot involves Danny and his cohorts attempting to save Danny’s elderly father from Clunker Island, the place broken-down cars go to be scrapped. Along the way, they must deal with an overzealous police car, school drama, and a bit of illegal road racing. It’s exactly as boring as it sounds.
However, as boring as it is, this movie is oddly fascinating. The animation is so horribly rendered and filled with glitches that finding all the errors becomes a legitimately enjoyable Easter egg hunt. The film’s voice cast is also supremely bizarre, featuring recognizable actors like Haley Joel Osment, Melissa Joan Hart, and even the great Ed Asner. And then there are the puns. There are too many groaners to count, but some of my favorites include namedrops like Greta Car-bo, Sean Car-nnery, and worst of all, William Shakes-Car. Please, make it stop.
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If you’re in the mood for a so-bad-it’s-good movie that delivers the rip-off, pun-filled goods, CarGo might actually be worth tracking down. But don’t say you weren’t warned.
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