Catherine Hiles
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The Shag Dash Topper, and Other Inexplicable Car Features

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Ever heard of a shag dash topper? If you’re a Nissan cube driver, it’s possible—you might even have one! The rest of the world, however, might require an explanation. Well, if you’re lucky (or quirky) enough to drive a cube, Nissan will install an optional “shag dash topper” right up there at the front of your car. Supposedly, the shag dash topper will prevent your phone or whatever you put on it from slipping off, but that remains debatable. From Nissan’s website:

“Everything’s better with shag. This 2-tone dash topper sits right up front for everyone to admire.”

Nissan cube shag dash topper

In the flesh… the Nissan cube’s shag dash topper

I’m not sure “admire” is the correct word here. Nevertheless, learning of the existence of this oddity made me wonder what other random accessories car shoppers can get these days. Read on to learn the weirdest of the weird.

car eyelashes
Eyelashes

I’ve seen this one on a few cars out in the wild, and I just don’t get it. I mean, I anthropomorphize my car as much as the next person, but at the end of the day, it’s a car. Not a cute little lady batting her lashes at you flirtatiously. However, if you must personify your car with eyelashes, at least go with official ones.

 

car mustache
Carstache

Along the lines of car eyelashes, the carstache is perfect for drivers who want to show the world just how masculine their cars are. “See my car? It’s so manly it can grow a ‘stache.” Either that, or you’re a hipster.

 

car bra
Car Bra

The car bra is a strange invention. Its purpose is to protect the front of your car from pesky bugs and rogue pebbles, preserving the beauty of your paint job. However, it’s difficult to see how awesome your paint job is if it’s covered up by a big black bra. Having said that, look how happy these people are with their car bra!

 

truck nuts
Truck Nuts

You drive a truck. You’re a man. What better to accessorize your ride with than balls? You have balls, your truck has balls. Balls all around! Veins and all!

 

French fry holder
French Fry Holder

Need your McDonald’s fix on the move, but live in fear of fry grease tricking down your skin as you try to hold them and drive at the same time? With your very own French fry holder, you can enjoy fries on the move without fear of burning yourself or looking foolish. Oh, wait…

 

Over to you: what’s the weirdest aftermarket accessory you’ve ever seen on a car?