Sneezing While Driving: Best Practices
Between incompetent or aggressive drivers, engaging podcasts, and the ever-present appeal of cell phones, devoting 100 percent of your attention to the road has never been so difficult. This issue becomes exponentially more challenging when one of biology’s least convenient impulses strikes: sneezing.
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If you routinely fall prey to this affliction — or worse, find yourself stuck in a seemingly unstoppable sneeze streak — fear not. Here are a few quick tips to stop you from endangering yourself on the road when the impulse strikes.
Don’t flail
There’s something about a sneeze that seems to completely disable the nervous system. Your face contorts into the single worst representation of itself, your head involuntarily snaps forward, and — if you’re a decent human being — you throw your arm across your face as if you’re trying to execute some sort of demented dab.
While this experience is universal, allowing it to get out of control can be disastrous. Obviously, taking both hands off the steering wheel to ride the sneeze train is a terrible idea, no matter how much you want to protect your passengers and windshield. At the same time, if a passing driver sees you raising the roof while making a face like you just watched the gnarly section of “Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood,” they may be justifiably distracted.
Just let it happen
While it can be challenging to prevent the aforementioned symptoms of sneezing behind the wheel, there’s one action you should always avoid: trying to hold it in. Putting aside the fact that holding in a sneeze may eventually result in an aneurysm, it’s also a sure-fire way to extend your sneeze-streak. That’s a bad idea, as we’ve previously reported that you can drive as far as 50 feet while your eyes are closed due to an untimely achoo. Just sneeze your little heart out and it will pass before you know it.
Know your enemy
Sun Tzu once said, “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” Within the context of sneezing, you already know yourself — the sensation of an impending sneeze is unmistakable. The battle is apparent — an onslaught of sneezes. But knowing the enemy is more difficult.
The most effective arrow I can add to your metaphorical quiver is this: “achoo” is both an onomatopoetic and something of an acronym. Dictionary.com states that it stands for Autosomal Dominant Compelling Helio-Ophthalmic Outburst Syndrome, a disorder that causes uncontrollable sneezing.
Use this information as you please. Don’t turn your car into a sneeze rave, don’t hold back on the nasty blast, and always remember that knowledge is your friend.
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