Daniel Susco
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Woe Upon This Day, for the Darkness Has Struck a Blow Upon the People of the World

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Out there, in the street!

It is a mob of people, wandering aimlessly, rending their garments and tearing their hair from their heads.

On the wind you hear the sounds of gnashing teeth, pigs being slaughtered, and hopeless wailing.

In the distance, smoke rises from the village.

Turner reportedly knew the victim.

And this time, you are mostly sure it isn’t someone protesting Uber
Photo: Amy Glaze

“What,” you cry, dismayed, as you stare at the mob, which is now breaking into uncontrollable weeping and holding beseeching hands to the sky, “What has happened to cause such a display of woe?”

Only that which can only be thought of as the greatest disaster to befall man: in the torn streets of San Francisco, an autonomously-driving Bolt was turning left, and suddenly stopped as it was cut off from the other lane.

Then, it happened.

A man riding a bicycle did not stop and bumped into it. The poor victim was viciously wounded, coldly described by the California DMV: “the cyclist scraped his knee.”

Angel Statue

Photo: aelena

The Bolt also sustained grave damage, as the report callously continued, “There was a minor scratch on the AV.”

The only mercy seems to have fallen on the bicyclist’s vehicle, according to the DMV: “the bicycle had no visible damage.”

Woe be unto this day! Woe!

Mercedes Toy Cars Won't Crash


Ok, in all seriousness, this story comes to us because California law requires that autonomous vehicle testers report any and all accidents involving the car. In this case, the Bolt was driving itself, turning left in the outermost of two available turn lanes, when a vehicle in the inner lane cut the Bolt off, making it hit the brakes to avoid a collision. The bicyclist apparently couldn’t stop in time and hit the back of the Bolt, scraping his knee and the car’s paint, but otherwise coming away fine.

So, I suppose the takeaway is a small reminder: don’t tailgate, and pay attention, no matter what you are riding or driving behind.

News Sources: California DMV, Jalopnik