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World Cup of Cars: Portugal vs. Ghana

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Portugal vs. GhanaAll eyes…well, at least any eyes able to sneak away from work for a long Thursday lunch…will be on the final Group G matchups in preliminary play, which includes Portugal vs. Ghana. If you’re reading this in America, here’s what you need to know: Ghana will knock the USMNT with a multi-goal win over Portugal, and the US is through in the event of a Ghana loss or draw. The only way that Portugal gets through is if Cristiano Ronaldo sprouts wings pre-game, alights gently at midfield with a football-launching cannon, and scores approximately 15 goals on his own before being swept up in a beam of divine light. In other words: there’s a chance.Portugal vs. Ghana

And while our World Cup of Cars matchup for Portugal vs. Ghana is not quite exciting as the world’s most talented and most devilishly handsome footballer descending to earth on a cloud like a totally ripped version of the archangel Michael, we’re nonetheless excited to see the Fiat Punto square off against the Tata Indigo.Portugal vs. Ghana

Oh. My.

(Steps away to look over information on both the Fiat Punto and the Tata Indigo)

Hm. Okay. Well, here we go.

The Fiat Punto. It’s…a Fiat. It comes in three different trims: EASY, LOUNGE, and YOUNG. Four available engines include diesel and bi-fuel options and…well, it’s a Fiat.

Portugal vs. Ghana


Looks like a Fiat. Yep. Fiat all up in here.

Portugal vs. Ghana


To the Tata Indigo which…

Portugal vs. Ghana


Oh boy. Well, it’s a car. With four wheels. And a windshield. Can’t forget that. Also, lights! So that you can see at night. Is the Tata Indigo a car? Definitely. You’d be crazy to say it wasn’t.

So who wins? Well, this might be somewhat unprecedented, but we’re declaring neither the Fiat Punto nor the Tata Indigo the winner. The winner here: Cristiano Ronaldo’s abs.

Portugal vs. Ghana

You win the World Cup of my heart

They win, we win. You’re welcome.Portugal vs. Ghana

Be sure to check out Portugal vs. Ghana now, now, right now on ESPN2. Go. Go!