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Yet Another Cheese Heist Wracks the Nation

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Green Bay fans hide their hats in terror

Provolone Cheese

People do crazy things for cheese
Photo: Alpha

In this day and age, thanks to our law enforcement agents, we don’t have legendary criminals like John Dillinger running around. For the most part, huge heists like the bank robbers of the 1920s pulled off are now nigh-on impossible outside of Mission Impossible and The Fast and the Furious movies.

Notice that phrase, “for the most part.” Now, more and more, we are faced with a new kind of great thief, making off with thousands of dollars in golden goods at a time, leaving nothing behind but an empty semi truck and the knowledge that the cheddar is likely long gone.

We are, naturally, referring to people who steal cheese transporting trucks.

It’s no secret that people love cheese. Some love it so much that they will stop at the scene of a truck crash to scoop up some freshly-liberated gouda, while others will drive several hours just to be the first to slice the big cheese or accidentally overturn their stolen transport truck filled with cheese-y goodness.

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However, these were amateurs compared to Wisconsin thieves who made off with $70,000 worth of cheese early in the morning on January 22nd. The cheese was stored in a semi trailer at a D&G Transportation warehouse outside of Germantown, from which the cheese thieves managed to liberate the bounty using a semi-tractor. Police were then able to locate that tractor, but not the trailer, so they used Facebook to get citizens on the lookout, sharing a picture of the logo on the side of the trailer.

The citizens prevailed, notifying police at around 10am that the trailer had been found in Milwaukee.

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The trailer was completely empty.

However, in a decided twist, detectives found the stolen cheese that evening, somewhere in Milwaukee. Police would release no other information at this time, but at time of writing, no arrests have been made. Only time will tell whether police will track down these cheddar-chasers.

News Sources:, Germantown Police Department via Facebook