Daniel Susco
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Would-Be Gas Thief’s Plan Craps Out When He Mistakes Sewage Tank for Gas Tank

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Ever had a day where absolutely nothing went right—a day where every table leg meant a stubbed toe, where every light was red, and where every time you try to plug in a USB, it’s facing the wrong way (and you lament not getting the car charger with the whatever-direction USB port)?

Ready to feel a little better about it? Because, no matter how many small mishaps you had, you probably didn’t end up with the combined poop of a bunch of tourists right in your mouth.

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A thief in Laverton, Western Australia, decided that he (or she) would try to steal gasoline from a large tourist bus. So, the thief prepared to siphon the gas out.

For those who don’t remember what siphoning is, it’s pretty simple: you take a hose, put one end in a body of liquid, suck the liquid through the hose, and then the liquid will all pour out through the hose. The process is pretty simple, but the would-be gas thief was missing one crucial piece of knowledge: how to tell the difference between a gas tank cap and a sewage tank cap.

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Disgusted Man

Yup. He (or she) got a mouthful of strangers’ poop.

Police Senior Sergeant Heath Soutar told Yahoo, “We can infer they beat a very hasty retreat, with a somewhat bitter taste in their mouth.” He also said that police “have absolutely zero interest” in recovering whatever liquid that the thief must have stolen.

We also presume that, for the rest of the day, Soutar and the rest of the Laverton police cracked jokes about how the thief was probably in a crappy mood, feeling down in the dumps, and wasn’t the most wanted thief (because, clearly, he’s only number 2).



Aah. See? Don’t we all feel better now?

News Sources: YahooThe Mirror

  • Daniel SuscoEditor

    Daniel Susco is a native of the Dayton-Cincinnati area, and has written on a multitude of subjects. He can discuss Shakespeare, expound on Classical Mythology, and even make witty jokes about Pliny the Elder (More like “Pliny the Rounder,” right?). In his free time, Daniel enjoys reading, cooking, woodworking, and long walks on the beach (just kidding – sunburn is no joke). See more articles by Daniel.