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Despite Best Efforts, Lexus NX by Isn’t Atrocious

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Lexus NX by

So on a scale of one to “Boom Boom Pow,” how terrible is the NX by We’ll find out!

A scenario to set the scene for the reveal of the Lexus NX by at Paris Fashion Week today:

Imagine going down to a little hole-in-the-wall bar in a college town. It’s not just any day, though: it’s the evening after a big game between two rival schools.

But you’re not a local. No sir: you’ve come from hundreds of miles away to cheer on your home team in their efforts to defeat the representatives from the college town you are now visiting.

There’s good news: your team was victorious in what could only be described as a barn-burner. From the opening kickoff right down to a final second and a play that could have gone either way, the game was an absolute instant classic. It was truly one for the books, and you couldn’t be prouder of your team.

But now, the bad news: your team colors have caught the eye of a couple of surly (and intoxicated) gentlemen across the bar. They’ve been burning holes through you with their eyes for the last half-hour as you nurse your beer, but some invisible trigger has finally set them lumbering in your direction.

Face to face with a mountainous man, you miss nearly every single unintelligible word that is being slurred at you, though you get the gist that it’s mostly profanity and insults.

And then, without warning, you see his balled up tight fist loping through the air and aiming square at your jaw.

He’s built, so much so that you think he may have even been a member of the football team from years ago. In that moment of speculation, you realize that the punch that is coming has behind it all the bitterness of not making it to the NFL, all the frustration with being forced to live a normal life, and all the anger of a man who feels that the world has slighted him in some way.

You think this is going to hurt. You close your eyes.

At once, you feel something brush softly against your lower jaw, and you hear the sound of glasses breaking and wood groaning and splintering beneath the weight of a gargantuan. The crowd gasps in horror. And then they begin laughing.

The oafish antagonist, in his drunken stupor, nearly missed you entirely. His weight has carried him ass over teakettle, and he’s gone crashing through a couple of cheap bar tables, now gathering himself somewhere down there on the floor beneath spilled beer and peanut shells. You back slowly out of the bar, and you never look back once you go roaring out of the parking lot.

That feeling—like you’ve just barely avoided a punch that has the potential to rearrange your whole face—is probably something similar to what Lexus executives felt today when the Lexus NX by debuted at Paris Fashion Week and it turned out not to be a hideous, misshapen monster.

Lexus NX by

Oh, so it’s just a Lexus NX that you’re standing in front of? Cool, we guess.

So what constitutes the Lexus NX by Basically, it’s an NX 200t F SPORT with a lowered body kit, a customized color scheme, new wheels, a wireless charging tray, and a panoramic camera that takes pictures/video while you drive.

Wow. Where would the automotive world be today without the innovative genius of Bill.That’s.Me?

So the NX by isn’t the train wreck we thought it would be. Rather, it’s just a plain ol’ NX with a few bells and whistles that has rebranded as his own creation. This shouldn’t be too surprising, though. After all, William with unnecessary punctuation is no stranger to stealing.

Lexus NX by

“For my next trick, I think I’ll rip off an Aesop Rock track and turn it into some EDM garbage where I just say the word ‘terrific’ over and over again.”

Paper or Plastic? Watch Lexus choose paper every time