Patrick Grieve

Rich People Do Rich People Stuff in Cadillac ATS and CTS Commercials

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2017 Cadillac ATS commercial Lost & Found features a woman trying to find her lost diamond earring

Cadillac has two new commercials for the ATS and CTS, which focus on rich people doing rich people things in their rich people cars. They’re basically 30-second Nancy Meyers films.

Caddy’s first ad, “Lost & Found,” finds a unique way to brag about the ATS having the most powerful Turbo 4-cyliner engine in its class:

This commercial finally answers the question, “Why do rich people who just use their cars for cruising down brick-lined, 25 mph roads, care how much horsepower they have?” Well, it turns out, they need the Turbo engine’s sudden bursts of acceleration (and the quick-stopping Brembo performance brakes) in order to dislodge those pesky diamond earrings that drop underneath the seat from time to time.

How droll…

Cadillac produced a similarly-styled ad for the 2016 CTS sedan, titled “The Game,” in which another lovely couple listens to some music during their Sunday drive (although not, confusingly, music by West Coast hip hop artist The Game):

Here, we see some charming rich people taking a break from their usual croquet and badminton to play a different kind of game—“Name That Cello Suite!” The rules are simple: the rich woman plays a selection of classical music, and the rich man must identify the piece and its composer.

The car’s driver needs only to hear Yo-Yo Ma’s bow glide across the strings of his Montagnana cello for a few moments before he correctly recognizes the selection as Bach’s Suite No. 1 in G Major. The passenger is clearly and justifiably wooed by her suitor’s display of cultural learning.

But wait! The hero is a rogue! For upon closer examination, it is clear that the man did not know Bach’s masterpiece from memory, but rather from the CTS sedan’s Head-Up Display system, which supplied him with the secret knowledge of the song’s title and author!

Do you, sir or madam, wish for an automobile that can help you fetch misplaced jewelry, or provide you with covert information on Bach’s six Cello Suites? Then perhaps you should consider a Cadillac—even if that gigantic badge is a tad gauche.