Added on May 14, 2015  The News Wheel   , , , , ,
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20 Specialty Plates Banned by the State of Ohio

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There’s been a lot made recently about whether or not a license plate should count as a protected forum for the exercise of free speech. While the Supreme Court determines whether it’s within a state’s rights to refuse a group its own specialty plate, there have been instances of state BMVs declining applications for personalized plates based on perceived lewd implications.

While there’s room for debate regarding intent and tastefulness in certain instances, some of the requests included on a list of Ohio’s banned vanity plates released in 2013 are downright ridiculous. Not because they’re so blatantly offensive, mind you—believe us, there are plenty of those on the list, because there are plenty of people with the minds of children who just can’t resist sharing a good poop joke—but because they’re so obviously innocuous or so downright bizarre. Here are 20 of the most ridiculous banned plates

  1. GDWITCH – What exactly does Ohio have against Billie Burke? Or are high-ranking officials of the Ohio BMV simply biased members of Team Elphaba? Given that WTCH is also on the list, it’s also possible that the plate review committee is headed by John Hathorne and Thomas Danforth.
  2. STEWGOT/STUGOTZ/S2GOTZ/STUGOTS– The Ohio BMV also seems to have a major grudge with Dan Le Batard’s co-host. This could be for any number of reasons: 1) Le Batard’s rants against LeBron James after he snubbed the Heat for the Cavs, 2) the fact that Stugotz’ given surname is Weiner, 3) Stugotz’ Twitter pic.Stugotz, ladies and gentlemen
  3. DMBFAN46 – Seriously. It’s 2015. Stop wearing flannel pajama pants and telling everyone you run into about how Under the Table and Dreaming is the most seminal album ever recorded.
  4. Y0OH0O – No illicit references to frosty pseudo-chocolate-milks…
  5. DOTHDEW – …nor to any frosty pseudo-citrus-sodas. This begs the question: what of pseudo-root-beers?DRPEPPRCheck! But what of Dr. Pepper’s browner, lumpier, smellier cousin?DRPOOPR
    Double check!
  6. THEVAMP – Apparently, the Belmont family also relocated to Ohio in recent years. This would at least partially explain the clear anti-Nosferatu bias.
  7. REDWYN – This plate is a head-scratcher. This is either a reference to a member of the Night’s Watch from Game of Thrones or a testament to Reds fandom. Neither is offensive in any conceivable way (unless this is somehow a GoT spoiler, in which case, shaddup).
  8. PIGS – So they roll in mud. So they make somewhat obnoxious noises. So they’re loud eaters. Stop trying to change pigs. Pigs are what they are, and there’s…oh…double meaning, you say? What, like they can’t handle being called names?
  9. PIGMAN –


    Okay, in this context, this might actually be pretty offensive to most rational-thinking human beings.
  10. H2OSK1/H20SKI – It is impossible that this indicates anything other than an enthusiasm for water skiing.
  11. BUFSTUF – It is impossible that this license plate would be issued to anyone other than Marcus Alexander Bagewell.
  12. EVLDEAD – It is impossible that this license plate would swallow your soul, swallow your soul, swallow your soul.
  13. AWDFTW/FTWCAV/GEEKFTW/BENZFTW/NEONFTW/G8RSFTW/R32FTW/E30FTW/4G63FTW – Note: “FTW” means “for the win” in contemporary parlance. This is not 1998, and Taz is not the Human Suplex Machine any longer.
  14. 1HELAV8 – The word hella has about the same vulgarity threshold as the words shoot, dang, darn, and dadgum.
  15. BIGTN – Not sure if this is a reference to a dinner special from a gross Ohio-based pizza chain or to a collegiate athletic conference that hasn’t actually had 10 teams for a quarter-century. Either way, nope, not offensive.
  16. IH8BP – Because if there’s anybody’s delicate sensibilities we need to protect, it’s the company that dumped 210 million gallons of oil into the ocean and was subsequently found guilty of gross negligence and willful misconduct. If British Petroleum is not sacred, what is?
  17. QUIKVETT – Here, the term “QUIK” implies speed, which suggests advocating lawless behavior (i.e. speeding). At least that’s what you might think if you are dumb.
  18. CITY – City? No. Town? town Oh yes.
  19. DNTKIL/KILLER – Well, which is it? Don’t kill or be a killer? Stop fence-sitting, Ohio BMV.
  20. 1STLOVE – This, of course, impinges on the traditional definition of love, which is of course “if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.” #protectreligiousfreedom
AS GOD INTENDED IT

AS GOD INTENDED IT

For what it’s worth, if this cuts down your list of potential vanity plates, here are some other available, not-yet-banned options:

SHARTS ISHART LV2POOP

America!

News Source: Dayton Daily News